It Is - What it Is

by Tim Connor, CSP

One of my daughter’s favorite lines is, it is what it is. Every time I hear that from her it makes me stop and think – why is she saying this to me again? What did I say that triggered her need to repeat this common phrase?

Well I heard it again last weekend so I decided it was time to dig deeper into these five simple - yet profound words.

Let me start by saying that I agree with this concept, but I also contend that when and how it is used or interpreted can vary depending on the person and the circumstances.

What it implies is simply that – life happens and we can’t always control each of its conditions, but we can control how we choose to interpret them. At first this seems like too simple of an explanation, but on further consideration that is exactly what it implies.

But this still doesn’t answer the question – why do we feel whatever is happening shouldn’t be or things should be different?

Let’s take a brief look at what these simple words mean when put together in this way.

It is what it is. =

• “It” – whatever is going on.

• “Is” – It’s happening, it occurs, it is taking place.

• “What” – again repetitive - what’s going on.

• “It” – Again I repeat – what’s happening.

• “Is” – I repeat – what’s happening.

Well, since I'm not sure that was very helpful, so I guess we need to look behind the words into their more subtle meaning.

As I was pondering this line this weekend, I thought – maybe there is a book here, but on second thought as I try to explain this phrase I started thinking, there are literally millions and millions of circumstances that happen in people’s lives and this book would have to be several thousand pages. So, I trashed that idea and decided a few hundred would suffice.

We could apply this phrase to any life area – personal or professional relationships, finances, careers, health and so on. Here, we are thinking in terms of manufactured housing management. So the key here is not to try and explain the words and their application, but to just understand their hidden meaning whether we hear them from someone else or repeat them to ourselves.

I would agree that – life happens and that many of us from time to time don’t like what is happening, but in the end, it is happening. What life does give us is the ability to determine how what is happening is either interpreted by us or how we choose to respond to it.

Herein lies the challenge. We get to choose. The other problem is that all too often what is happening was directly or indirectly attributed to some of our previous actions and decisions. So in a sense some of what is, was caused by us.

Yes, there are numerous situations that happen to each of us that we were not directly responsible for creating or contributing to, but in the end I’ll go back to what I said a few sentences ago – We get to choose – how we will respond, what we will think, how we will feel, what we will do, what we will say and the impact of what is on us.

As you read this you might feel like I wasn’t much help - so let me summarize – Stuff happens. We can control some of it and we can’t control some of it. In the end we can always control what we do with it or about it. To re-phrase. What we can do with what is could be called 'Response-ability.'

Again – We get to choose – we have the ability to respond, instead of react! So choose wisely or I’ll guarantee that sooner or later the same stuff might happen again. Know why? Because otherwise – it is what it is. # #

(Editor's Note: Tim coordinates http://mhspeakertrainer.org/)

(Editor's Note: Tim Connor is a member of MHSpeakerTrainer.org)

Tim Connor, CSP is an internationally-renowned sales, management and leadership speaker, trainer and bestselling author. Since 1981, he has given over 4000 presentations in 21 countries on a variety of sales, management, leadership and personal and business relationship topics. Tim has been a member of the National Speakers Assn for over 30 years. He is the bestselling author of over 75 books including the international best sellers Soft Sell, Corporate Disconnect, 81 Challenges Managers Face, Your First Year in Sales and Life Is Short. He can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it , 704-895-1230 or visit his websites at www.timconnor.com and www.CorporateDisconnect.com. Connect with Tim on FaceBook, LinkedIin and Twitter.