Selling 101: Connecting with the Prospect

by John Underwood

Hopefully many of you have had the chance to read the article "Selling 101: Introduction" last month. In this article, I introduced our readers to the concept of "prospect tension" and tension management. The example I used to illustrate tension was one that was built around the task of climbing Mt. Rainier, a 14,000' peak in the Pacific Northwest. For our readers in that area of the country, all would agree that climbing this glacier covered volcano can be a daunting task, yet people, under the watchful eye of a very experienced guide, do it on a regular basis. I illustrated that for the novice climber the tension level for this task would be very high. The perceived ability of most individuals to accomplish this task is very low and the perceived challenge of the task for most people is very high. This level of tension is also referred to as stress. One doesn't need top be a trained psychologist to know that people that are in stress act in strange ways. People that are in stress often present themselves as being cold, distant, evasive in answering questions, demanding, nervous, and avoid significant and coherent interaction with others. We also know that people that are in stress cannot, and will not, act rationally and make sound decisions. It is very safe to say that people that are in stress are in no position to attempt a hazardous task as climbing a mountain.

So what does all this have to do with selling homes? While buying a home is by no means a life-threatening task, one cannot argue the fact that it is a monumental task for most of our prospects. Almost all of our prospects perceive the level of challenge of building a home to be very high and their perceived level of ability to be very low. They either lack the construction knowledge, the real estate knowledge, or the financing knowledge to turn the dream of owning a new home, into a reality. Many of your clients have no idea whether or not they can obtain financing at competitive rates, if their home will end up being a good investment, or if the quality of this home will equal those of conventional site built homes. To make matter worse, the person they are dealing with is a sales person. Like it or not, the memorable experiences that most people have about dealing with sales people is somewhat less than desirable and most believe that by having to deal with what they believe a sales person to be, increases their risk of getting a "bad deal". Earlier, I described what an individual in "stress" acts like. Do you not find some of your prospects to act the same way when they walk through the front door? Do they not present themselves as being cold, distant, evasive and avoiding interaction? Well, now you know it's because they are experiencing a high level of tension, also known as stress, and I want you to remember these very specific characteristics of and individual that is in stress as we examine the "connecting" phase of the sales process.

This session is all about "connecting" with your prospect. It's all about reducing the stress that so many of your prospects are experiencing when they walk through your front door. I will give you some pointers as to what to do and more importantly, what NOT to do and WHY.

First, the "connect" phase is the first stage of almost every sales process. This phase is often refereed to as the rapport-building phase, or the greeting and the meeting phase. In all cases, this phase always must serve the same purpose. The purpose of the Connecting Phase is as follows:
"To create a safe and comfortable environment for the open and honest exchange of pertinent information."

Please examine this purpose closely. Note that I did not say, "gather important information" or "interview the prospect." I did say, "create a safe and comfortable environment" in which this will take place. Oddly enough, this phase of the selling process is one that is most often understood and underutilized and I think it is one that causes sales people a significant number of sales. In fact, I rarely see sales people spending ANY time in this phase. Oh, I know, you all THINK you do, and I can see why. Most all of you are very nice people and most of you certainly do not have any desire to harm your prospect in any way shape or form. Most all of you are there to truly HELP your prospect. Unfortunately, this isn't about how you feel, it's about how you make your prospects feel. You have the responsibility of making your prospects feel safe and comfortable. In other words, lower their tension. Until you have lowered your prospects level of tension, they will NOT give you what your looking for and that is information and trust. Remember, they are in stress and they will act like people in stress.

So what are some of the things you should do and what are some of the things you should NOT do if you want to lower tension and create a "safe and comfortable" environment for your prospect. First, let's dispel some of the process myths that have haunted our industry for years.

Many of you are of the mindset that you have to "control" the prospect. The term "control" implies there to be a power struggle that will leave one individual in a dominant position and the other in a submissive position. Do you feel that attempting to dominate another individual will raise their level of tension or lower their level of tension? Would "lead the prospect" be a better term than "control?" What is your objective; low or high levels of tension?

Many of you have been taught that regardless of what your prospect says upon entering the lobby of your retail location, (i.e. "We would like to look at some of your homes") that you are to respond by saying "Fine, follow me." turn around, and begin walking to your office. Does ignoring the very first request your prospect has made of you raise their level of tension or lower their level of tension? What is your objective; low or high levels of tension?

Many of you have been taught to "take the prospect to your office" before showing them any homes. Does taking someone into an office after they have requested to look at some of the homes raise tension or lower tension? What is your objective; low or high levels of tension?

Many sales people have been instructed to do a complete interview before showing the prospect a home. Does asking the customer for personal financial information before they have had a chance to determine whether or not you even have what they are looking for raise tension or lower tension? What is your objective; low or high levels of tension?

Many of you believe that you should never leave prospects by themselves. A sales person should always be with a prospect. Does the uninterrupted presence of a sales person during the "connecting" phase raise the level of tension or lower the level of tension? What is your objective; low or high levels of tension?

I think you see where I'm going with this. It isn't so much about what you do as it is about why you're doing it. It isn't whether you should bring someone into your office or not, or whether you should conduct a complete interview before showing your prospect a home. It isn't about going out into a home with the prospect or letting them look on their own. It is all about WHY you're doing it and what the result of that action is. It IS about lowering tension. Are there people that have no problem coming into your office? Sure there are, but not all of them are the people who are willing to give you all the information you need before asking you to show them a home? Absolutely, but not everybody. Are there people that would like you to accompany them to the first home? Of course, but not everyone. Again, your purposes for this first phase of the selling process is to create a "safe and comfortable" environment and if what you're doing is in stark contrast to that purpose, stop doing it. Ask yourself this question, "What can I do to make my prospects feel relaxed, safe and secure?" and that is precisely what you should be doing in this first phase of the selling process. Here is yet another one of the myths haunting us from the past.

Many sales people have been taught that as soon as the prospect walks in, you firmly shake their hand, introduce yourself and welcome them to your retail location. "Hello Folks! Welcome to Any Town Homes. My name is John Underwood; how can I help you today?" is what we have been taught to say as we offer them a firm handshake. "And your name is?" we are to ask without letting go of their hand until they respond. My dear friends, does this raise tension or lower tension? This tactic is called "posturing" and it has no value in your profession. Posturing is all about "control" and in this case is something that based on an "adversarial" relationship. It is designed to give someone the upper hand over their adversary. Politicians use this tactic before beginning a public debate, for example. The idea is to gain public confidence by demonstrating extraordinary confidence and strength. Some of you remember the public debates between Al Gore and George W. Bush. They would enter the stage form opposite sides intending to meet in the middle. Gore would practically run across the stage with his hand stretched out, trying to fight off his public image of lacking in confidence and being weak. Does it work? I don't know… Bush won.

Let me revisit the issue of not allowing prospects to view at least one home by themselves. The fear is that unless the sales person shadows the prospect from the second they walk in, he or she will lose "control." That is total nonsense. A sales person doesn't lose control of their prospect because the prospect is allowed to look at a home alone. They lose control because they don't reconnect with the prospect. I'm not sure how many homes I have sold myself as well as for my retail clients, and every time a prospect says "We would like to look at some of your homes" I respond the same way. "That's fine, folks. I'll start you with that home right over there. I'll walk over, make sure it's unlocked, and you can feel free to look at as many homes as you like" is my standard response. Does that statement raise tension or lower tension? When I get to the home, I open the door and say "I've got to tie up some loose ends from my last client, so unless you need me right now, I'll be back in 5-10 minutes and I'll be happy to answer any questions you may have." Does that raise tension or lower tension? Here's the secret to my success. I ALWAYS came back in 5-10 minutes. I have never lost a customer because I gave them what they wanted and neither will you.

Here are some additional pointers:

1. Speak softly. People perceive loud people to be intrusive, controlling and poor listeners.
2. Keep your distance. Getting too close to the prospect at this stage of the game makes them feel crowded and unsafe. Subconsciously, people that are too close are perceived as threats.
3. Smile. Your prospects need you to make them feel welcome. To many times what sales people are busy, prospects get the feeling that they "came at a bad time".
4. Be interested in them. When they're relaxed, ask your prospects about them. People like to have interest shown in them and be viewed as a person not just a paycheck.
5. DON'T begin the interview. There will be plenty of time to do that later.
6. Offer refreshments. Some people enjoy a fresh cup of coffee on a cold day or a cold soda on a hot day. Perhaps keep some bottled water in you fridge.

Again, this specific phase of the selling process, the connecting phase, is all about lowering prospect tension and creating a safe, secure and comfortable environment in which your prospect will openly and honestly exchange pertinent information.

Connecting with the prospect reminds me of going onto the internet and using a dial up modem. You hear all the white noise, the screeching, the clings, the clangs and finally your connected. Until the connection was made, you were not able to send information nor were you able to retrieve information. That is the way it is with your prospects. Until you connect, no information is exchanged, and those who ignore or trivialize this important phase of the selling process will do so at their own expense.

Next month, we will discuss the analyzing phase of the selling process, also referred to as the interviewing phase or the information-gathering phase. In that phase, our intent will be to raise the customer's tension level all the way up to the threshold of activation where the prospect takes immediate and decisive action. Raising a prospects tension level is quite different from lowering it and you will find that article to be interesting and productive. Until then, go help someone into a new home. ##

John Underwood is the founder and president of the Selling Edge, LLC. "As Chairman of the Manufactured Housing Education Institute (MHEI) as well as a Board Member of the Manufactured Housing Institute (MHI), I had the responsibility of looking for a system for managing our sales people that not only worked for us, but also one that was based on solid business principles and selling ethics. SellingEdge PRO is such a system." - Doug Gorman, Home-Mart, Tulsa, OK, Past Chairman, MHEI, 7 Time Retailer of the Year. You can contact John by email at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or check out his website: http://www.sellingedgepro.com