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Posts Tagged ‘Tim Connor’

The Question should be – why not me rather than – why me!

July 25th, 2016 No comments

Have you ever said “why me”? Come on – be honest here – sooner or later everyone feels like some area of life has not been fair to them and their usual response is “why me or why now.”

Why not look at these life situations or circumstances a little differently with a “why not me”. Let me explain.

Think about it – no matter what has happened or how bad something seems consider that there could possibly be someone in the world who has it a lot worse. I could give your dozens of global statistics when it comes to poverty, sickness, death, the shortness of life, poor income etc. but I’m sure you are familiar with some of them unless you are totally immersed in yourself without a care in the world for anyone other than yourself. I’ll give you one – over 795,000,000 people in the world suffer from hunger without enough food to sustain a healthy lifestyle. That’s about one in nine people. Are you one of them? I doubt it.

I’m sure you may have an idea where this article is going – if not – when you consider all of the disease, poverty, hunger etc. in the world I’ll bet you don’t face any of these every day so back to the title the question should be – why not me rather than why me in difficult circumstances?

I will focus on just three areas although there are many – careers and or business, general happiness and health.

Careers or business – The average income globally for individuals is $795/year. Are you making more than that? Thousands of people die every day due to hunger and disease. So, why are you whining? We spend over one third of our life working in our jobs or careers so if you do not have peace in your career – well – it’s simple – one third of your life will be unfulfilling. I’ll bet you know dozens of people who have been terminated or just lost their jobs due to circumstances they couldn’t control – are you one of them? If you are reading this – probably not.

Over 1500 businesses fail every day in the US – is yours one of them?

It’s not complicated – I’ll bet if you ask yourself a simple question – why not me rather than why me I’ll wager that you will come to realize the many blessings you have in life every day. Over 40,000 people die in their sleep every night – are you one of them? Doubt it.

I have failed numerous times during my life but my response was always – OK what can I learn from this and what can I do now – not, poor me, life isn’t fair, I don’t deserve this or some other lame negative reaction. Ever failed at anything – what was your response – point the finger, get all stressed out or just have a pity party or did you just move on – smarter and wiser?

General happiness – Research indicates that only one in three Americans are happy and less than 75% of the population are happy in their careers or jobs. Happiness is not nor will ever be what you have, do or enjoy but the ability to be happy regardless of what life brings into your days and years. Happiness is a mindset and this is not who you are or what you have but your life philosophy.

If you want to be happy it won’t happen with a bigger house, more money, nicer car or more toys or travel. Research over the years has proven time and time again – money, wealth, power, fame or stuff doesn’t make people happy. Sure all of these are great but if you are doing them for greater happiness – you will be disappointed. Do you think someone who is starving in the world gives a rip about having a nicer car or even a car?

Health – There are numerous studies over the years that have validated that the number one contributor to sickness and death is stress and do you know the major cause of stress? It’s a lack of patience or control. So, why not ask yourself – is a roof over my head enough? Are three meals a day enough, is having health insurance enough or do you whine about what’s missing?

So let me close with a quick question – are your issues, challenges, concerns, worries or fears even close to the general negative global statistics when it comes to these areas? If not – get over it and just be OK with what you have and stop complaining about what you don’t have. ##

Tim Connor, CSP

Pain can be your friend

July 19th, 2016 No comments

If you have never experienced emotional pain – you just landed here from another planet. In this article I am only going to discuss emotional pain and not physical pain. Let me say at the outset that you may find it hard to accept some of my rationale, I know writing it, no, as believing it has not always been easy for me either.

But first a definition – Pain – severe emotional or mental distress. Now mine – A negative emotional feeling that fills your heart, mind and gut that impacts you’re every thought, action and/or decision.

Ever been there? I’m sure your answer is yes. The loss of a loved one, the loss of a job, an unexpected negative experience that takes over your entire being, and an event that causes you to lose hope, faith or trust – this list could go on for pages.

I have experienced emotional pain many times during my life and on each occasion, until I finally grew up – my first reaction was always – blame, guilt, anger, resentment or some other negative reaction. In every case this response did not help me deal with the pain or its cause in a constructive way. I almost always felt like a victim and I do not have a victim mentality but this pain took me out of what I knew was a better way to handle the situation. I had to change my mindset about pain.

The journey of redefining pain in my life has not been an easy one as I still now and then fall prey to the implications and outcomes of a pain circumstance but I am making progress and thought I would share with you some of what I have learned.

There are degrees of pain depending on our attachment to a situation, expectation or person. These degrees can be from mild to totally devastating – causing us to lose much of who we really are.

Pain is a teacher but we have to be willing students and we have to do the necessary inner work if we are to come through this pain emotionally, mentally and even physically whole or in one piece.

If you have experienced any emotional pain I don’t need to remind you of the feelings that you experienced or the difficulty of dealing with the circumstances that caused the pain but I would like to share a few things you can consider to help manage or even eliminate the pain. Having said this, nothing, absolutely nothing I can say or anyone else can say for that matter can cause the pain to leave until you are ready to let it go.

This doesn’t mean that there won’t be memories of the person or event, that there won’t be some lingering effects of the pain, only that you are able to go about your life with this cloud no longer hanging over your every minute and causing you stress, to lose sleep and not be able to find inner peace with what happened.

I believe that most emotional pain is caused by disappointment, expectations not realized, people who behave in difficult ways or circumstances that bring you to your knees.

Pain is a normal part of life as we all experience it sooner or later due to some situation or circumstance we couldn’t control. The key to using it in a positive way is determined by what you do and how and when it strikes.

All emotions are created in the brain and then transmitted to your cells and organs via your neural system. So to deal with emotional pain that manifests in various parts of your body; your heart, stomach, lower back or other places you must first address it in your mind as this is where it begins and continues to impact you until you redirect your thoughts and therefore your actions and better manage this pain.

There are a number of things to consider;

1) There are some things in life you can control and some you can’t – the trick is to know and accept the difference and then control the things you can and let go of the things you can’t.

2) There are many ways to interpret events and people. No two people will see an event, person or situation the same. The key is to be willing to accept that there are other ways you can interpret what is happening and why.

3) Don’t let old baggage or history rule your present moments.

4) Regrets weigh tons and there is nothing you can do to change past events or circumstances but you can learn from them and then act accordingly in the future.

5) Feel the pain, admit the pain, experience the pain, get in touch with the pain and then let it go.

6) Life is short – you can live it filled with remorse, grief, guilt or you can admit mistakes, accept circumstances and move on.

7) Create some mental anchors/distractions to keep you focused on other circumstances.

8) Count your blessings – no matter what you are losing or have lost you still have more than you lost – I guarantee it.

9) Never let go of faith, hope and the will to live life to the fullest no matter what.

10) Get busy. Start a new activity, make some new friends, get

involved with a new group, take a trip, pray more, meditate,

volunteer, start to journal, start a new hobby, read inspiring

books – something.

This is just a short list of ways to deal with your pain. One way I have found that helps me a great deal is to read more and routine grateful prayer.

In the end emotional pain can be the only way to finally get in touch with who you are, what you want, what’s important and who you want to become, what needs to change and how you want to live your life. Let it teach you. Be a willing student.

By Tim Connor

Draw a line in the sand

December 14th, 2015 No comments

Over the years, I have been brought to my knees a number of times facing problems, challenges and failure. I can tell you, with a great deal of personal certainty, that no one – and I mean no one – escapes this life without some adversity, problems or failure. The value in these is to learn and grow. There is another benefit as well: it tests your resolve.

Years ago, I was facing a serious personal and career crossroads. I was not doing well (probably an understatement). Now, I have lots of friends and peers who, on the surface, seem to just successfully float through life and their careers. At first glance, they don’t seem to have any real serious business, financial or career challenges. But, I can tell you, do not be misled by outer appearances. One of the differences between me and them is that I have developed the courage to share reality with my readers and audiences. I do not do this in search of pity or emotional support. I do it because I need the constant reminder that each of us has our own personal dragons we must slay if we hope to achieve success and happiness.

One thing I have learned is that sooner or later you have to draw a line in the sand. You have to say to yourself, “No matter what life gives me, I can handle it. I will not give up or in. Period.” I had one of those little talks with myself in 1991. It was the middle of the recession, and I was scrounging for every dollar I could find. I even spent a Sunday afternoon looking through the want ads for a job (after ten years as a full time speaker). But, as I was circling ads to investigate the potential, God spoke to me, his message was clear – “You teach resolve, wisdom, discipline, courage, persistence etc. and I throw you are curve and you are ready to throw in the towel. Practice what you preach or I no longer need you as one of my spokespersons anymore. Draw a line in the sand and carry on no matter what and watch what I will do for you.” These were not audible words but the message was loud and clear – draw a line in the sand. You know, friends, from that moment on, things started to get better – slowly at first, then more rapidly.

This doesn’t mean I am home free. It only means that I surmounted one more hurdle. And there will be others. I don’t like them, but I know I need them to get better, wiser and stronger. And so do you.

Have you drawn your line in the sand yet? Have you said, “No matter how tough it gets, I will not quit.”? If you have, I salute you. If you are waiting for some miracle, I will hope for you that it appears. If you are wavering, struggling or considering calling it quits, I would encourage you to remember one thing I learned over thirty years ago from one of my first mentors: he said to me, “Tim, the cost of failure is always higher than the cost of success. You will have to pay one of the prices. Which would you rather pay?”

A few questions;

1) Is there an area of your life where you have not drawn a line in the sand? Why not?

2) Things taking longer than you hoped or planned to get better, change or improve? How are you handling it?

3) Ever feel like quitting? Joint the club. But, it’s one thing to feel like it and another to do it.

In His Service,
Tim Connor

Emotions…Are they working for or against you?

September 15th, 2013 No comments

It's an age old question – do your emotions drive your behavior or does your behavior follow your emotions? Ever thought about it?

Rather than try and answer this question I am going to give you some ideas to consider and then you can make the decision for yourself.

There are two fundamental emotions – love and fear – all others are just related to these in some direct or indirect way. For example – fear can be the foundation for – guilt, resentment, anxiety, frustration, impatience, anger or jealousy. Love on the other hand can be demonstrated with – happiness, inner peace, joy, calm, serene, bliss or cheerfulness.

The key point I want to make is that behavior and emotions are connected. Whether one precedes the other or causes it is not the question at this point but rather – which emotions generally guide your action, decisions or behavior? Are they grounded in fear or love?

For example – when trouble strikes as it always does in some way frequently in everyone's life is your first reaction a fear or love based emotion? Or, is your fear or love based emotional state causing the problem that you are experiencing?

Let's say you are a worrier (a fear based emotion) and your constant worry about something (financial security, health or a relationship) causes you to continually focus on what could go wrong. Well one of my favorite quotes by Homer is "Circumstances do not determine the person, they reveal who the person really is."

My original question was – do your emotions drive your behavior or does your behavior follow your emotions? Getting a hint so far as to which may be ruling your life day by day? No? Ok another example.

Let's say you just lost your job. You react. Do you react with gratitude and peace (that when a door closes another one – often a better one – opens) or is your immediate response one of fear?

In the examples above I have illustrated the two options – either your emotions cause or contribute to your outcomes or your outcomes contribute to your emotions. Regardless of which drives your life – the key thing to keep in mind is that when negative (fear based emotions are running the show) things will seldom turn out well or as hoped.

As humans our first reaction to any challenge or uncertainty is – fight, flight or freeze. This initial response comes from the oldest part of your brain what is referred to as the Reptilian brain. The younger part of your brain is grounded in love and its relatives.

The best way to always come at any situation regardless of the threat or potential outcome is with an attitude of appreciation. When you can do this (and I know it's not always easy) you give yourself the opportunity to view circumstances or situations in a more positive (love based) way. In the end, regardless of the challenge, this is the best way to confront any issue regardless of its potential either positive or negative.

There are hundreds of books that have been written in the past 100 years that corroborate this position but I'll leave you with one of the classics by Maxwell Maltz written over 50 years ago – Psycho-Cybernetics – Read it.

Or, you can find numerous quotes on this topic in the Bible – Read it too!

"The flocks fear the wolf, the crops the storm

and the trees the wind."

– Virgil

In His Service, 

Tim Connor

Act Local, Think Global

November 9th, 2012 No comments

Anytime you can sell a million of anything, it is an incredibly milestone. Tim Connor has sold 1+ million copies of his best seller, Soft Sell, and another million copies of his other books, linked here.

 

 

Tim's training, coaching and speaking methods are highly interactive, as the video above proves. He has presented and done training for dozens of companies in the manufactured housing industry, as well as for global companies such as Radio Shack and Snap-On-Tools. For speaking and training you can rely on, contact Tim at this website: www.TimConnor.com

Are you an encourager or an invalidator

August 29th, 2012 No comments

Weekly TimBit-Are you a cheerleader or an invalidator-

Managers have many roles and responsibilities the least of which is to contribute to an employee's self worth and not invalidate them. Do you know which is your tendency? Do you know the direct and indirect consequences of each approach?

A cheerleader – an uncritically enthusiastic supporter. To make others feel valued, worthwhile and encouraged.

To invalidate – to prove that something is wrong or make something worthless. To send a message to others that they are less important than you in some way.

Now that we have that out of the way let's take a look at how people invalidate or encourage employees and their outcomes.

You invalidate employees when you;

-punish them for mistakes made without giving them the positive reinforcement helping them to learn in the process.

-Exclude them from meetings where their contribution would be beneficial.

-Show up late for meetings with them.

-Interrupt them when they offer ideas, solutions or creative approaches to issues.

-Fail to listen to their ideas.

-Give them inadequate feedback, appreciation or recognition.

– Give more negative than positive feedback.

There are hundreds of additional ways that management contributes to poor employee attitudes, behavior and performance as a result of their negative management style, but in the end if you want motivated and productive employees this is a poor way to achieve it.

You encourage employees when you;

-Catch them doing things right and give them positive feedback, appreciation or recognition.

-Applaud their achievements or accomplishments in public.

-Give them the freedom to make decisions that are appropriate for their roles or responsibilities.

-Empower them to act on their own.

-Trust and respect them regardless of their talent, experience or other personal or career profile issues.

-Treat them fairly regardless of their personal situations

Again there are numerous other ways to send a clear message to employees that they are valued and appreciated, but in the end if you want employees to consistently give you their best, this is the best approach and management philosophy.

What are the consequences of inadequate or no encouragement?

Everyone wants and needs to feel self-value and when they receive feedback or messages that reinforce these personal needs, people will tend to give you their best, try harder, be more loyal and bring increased creativity and solutions to challenges, problems or issues that need these important mindsets. When you fail to recognize and demonstrate timely and appropriate encouragement and positive reinforcement you will tend to achieve the opposite.

Whether your organization is on a roll or facing challenging times you need motivated and creative employees to help you continue your success or to emerge from challenging times with success and sustainability.

The outcomes and results when you build employees up through encouragement.

I'll make this easy – read the above two paragraphs again but with a more positive outlook or mindset.

I'll leave you with two quick questions – which approach is your dominant management approach or philosophy and how is it working for you?

Make it a tremendous year, In His service,

Posted for

Tim Connor
Marketing & Sales,Website,AdvertisingMHSpeakerTrainer-Manager
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The past is dead – let it go. 

June 27th, 2012 No comments
 Weekly TimBit The past is dead – let it go.

Have you ever considered how many times your mind takes you into the past? Have you ever imagined how these moment by moment trips steal the joy, pleasure and success that awaits in your present? I have. And I can tell you with a great deal of humility and honesty that many of these treks into yesterday, last year or twenty years ago have caused the lack of inner peace more than any other activity I can remember.

I'm not sure why I have been ruminating on this more than usual the past few months except to say that recent circumstances in my life have given me the gift of insight and contemplation about the real value of life and its present moments filled with opportunitas as well as challenges and forced me to look at life differently. I'm not sure if you have ever had periodsin your life like this, but I can only say if you haven't – you will – sooner or later.

When I say the past is dead – I'm not implying that it was bad or good, filled with failure or achievements or wonderful memories or memories that make your hair stand on end. My only point is that the past is dead. Let me explain.

Last week you had a wonderful time with your kids. Last month you got a promotion.   Last year you moved into your dream house. Ten years ago you married your soul mate. These were wonderful times. Or – yesterday your car had a major mechanical issue, last month a dear friend passed away or five years ago you lost your job. What's the difference between all of thee events? Well, yes, some of them give you positive memories while others cause nothing but pain or regret.

But in the end they are all in the past – gone – yes you can relive them but here's the problem – while you relive them you are in the past. Whatever happened – happened – it's gone – history – regardless of whether your interpretation of it was positive or negative.

I started thinking – how much time am I stealing from my present by spending this time in the past? Can't change it, but I can still learn from it. Can't improve it but, I can still apply its lessons. Think about it for a minute. How many times in an hour or a day do you let your mind take you back in time and I don't care if it was only twenty minutes ago?

The past can be a wonderful teacher while we are experiencing what is happening and yes, many of us don't learn these lessons the past offers us until much later so I'm not saying don't ever go there. What I am saying is when you go there ask yourself – why am I doing this – justification, self abuse or making myself feel unworthy or trying to give yourself rationales for past decisions, mistakes or failures?

In the end the past is the past – it's gone. So I'll leave you with a few simple questions.

-How much time do you think you spend in the past in your mind every hour?

-How are these trips stealing from the value of your present?

-Why are you going there -for justification? Pleasure? To keep some

emotion or feeling alive?

I have some wonderful memories when my kids were younger, when my career was in high gear and when life was filled with happiness and accomplishment. I also have some terrible memories of times of discouragement, despair, bad decisions or choices, trials and challenges that tested every bit of my resolve and courage.

But in the end these visits serve no valuable purpose in my now moments and they often distract me from focusing on what is possible for me now and in the future.

Keep your happy memories where they belong – in that special place in your mind when you feel the need for some nostalgi,a but also put all of those unpleasant ones in a different place and lock the door and throw away the key.

Make it a tremendous year,
Tim Connor
Business Development
MHProNews.com
MHMSM.com
And the new MHLivingNews.com
704-895-1230

tim@mhmsm.com

What’s Really Important in Life

June 20th, 2012 No comments
 Weekly TimBit – Life's vital ingredients

Think about it – what's really important in life to feel content, peaceful, fulfilled, happy and valued?

I believe there are just seven vital things everyone needs and wants to achieve the above. Yes there are many others and I'm sure some of you would expand on my list but I ask you to consider for just a moment how important these are for you. And these are not in any special order;

Love
Happiness
Fun
Freedom
Relationships
Achievements
Acceptance

I'm confident many of you would include; money, success, a career or satisfying work, health, pleasure and oh so many more and wonder why I didn't include them, but when you are on your deathbed what do you think will really matter to you? Let's take a brief look at these seven.

Love

Survey after survey indicates that the number one thing people want in life is to feel love and or to be able to share love with someone special or others. Happiness is always near the top but consider – generally how happy are you when you are alone and feel disconnected? I'm not referring here to romantic love, but it is or can be included in this need. Why is love so important to each of us whether it's family or friends? Quite simple really – when we truly feel loved unconditionally we feel complete, whole and valued. When we show or express our love to others this also gives us many of the same feelings or benefits.

Happiness

Everyone wants to be happy; the problem is everyone defines happiness uniquely depending on the various aspects of their life. To some – happiness is financial freedom and to others it's being in love. Some people feel happy when they are having fun while others are happiest when they are accepted by others. Many people define happiness as just being free to control their life and its circumstances.
And many people feel extreme happiness when they are doing good, achieving or are successful. Note that happiness for most people always depends on something
else? True happiness is nothing external, but when it is enduring and not a short term feeling, it must be from internal; values, beliefs, self-acceptance, self-love and self-respect.

Fun

Fun and pleasure are two different things. Fun is when you can laugh, play, and enjoy whatever you are doing. Yes, work can be fun. Gardening can be fun and even washing the car can be fun. The problem is most people define fun as when they are doing something that is generally defined as – fun. Watching your favorite team on television, dancing the night away, being on vacation etc. Here's the problem – Many people do not have enough fun on vacation for any number of reasons. Many people watching their favorite team lose isn't fun and dancing the night away with your significant other when he or she would rather be doing something else most likely won't be fun. Get my drift? Fun isn't want you are doing it's the mindset you bring to what you are doing.

Freedom

In America we enjoy the freedoms that were given to us by our founders and the sacrifices of many people since then. The problem is that the bigger government becomes – more and more of our simple freedoms seem to be being taken from us. This is not meant to be a criticism of any individual or group but on each of us for allowing this trend to continue. Freedom is simply the right to choose. What we eat, where we live, what we do and how we behave as long as our decisions and actions do not have a negative impact on others. Freedom is vital for happiness – yes the freedom to succeed and the freedom to fail. The freedom to destroy ourselves with bad behaviors and the freedom to treat our mind, body and spirit with respect and love.

Relationships

Each of us has a variety of relationships with family, friends, customers, neighbor's even total strangers that cross our path briefly. Each relationship is unique and defined by the mutual feelings of both people. When I speak in front of an audience of 500 people I have a unique relationship with each of them – some I get to know – others just introduce themselves to me when I am finished speaking. You have many relationships with many different people. Yes some of them are more important, needed and more fulfilling than others but without these relationships consider what your life would be like?

Achievements

Achievements whatever they are from – building a work shed in your back yard to becoming famous by developing your talent and desires. Achievement is simply doing something that makes us feel good about ourselves. Achievements whether raising good children or volunteering at the local soup kitchen can be considered acts of services for others. The shed in your yard is seen as valuable by your spouse. Volunteering makes you feel valuable to those less fortunate. But in the end any achievement is not about fame, wealth, success or power but in the service of others.

Acceptance

Acceptance of others – for many – equals the ability to accept themselves first. When other's acceptance is needed or sought after – is usually due to your lack of inner security, low self-esteem or negative mindsets. Before other's acceptance of you will have any true meaning, you must first learn to accept yourself for who you were, are and are becoming. This is not an easy task for many people due to their early negative conditioning and upbringing. It can take years to confront and overcome many of the emotional wounds that were inflicted on us by caregivers, teachers, religious leaders etc. So search we do for others to accept us for our flaws, failures and often dysfunctional personality.

Make it a tremendous year,
Tim Connor
Business Development
MHProNews.com
MHMSM.com
And the new MHLivingNews.com
704-895-1230

tim@mhmsm.com

Ever had a bad day? A good one? Welcome to life.

June 6th, 2012 No comments

We all have our share of good days and bad days but in reality how each of us defines good and bad will vary. Win the lottery and most likely it's a good day. Lose your job and for most people this would be defined as a bad day. But wait a minute – what if after you lost your job you finally embarked on a new journey in a career that you have dreamed about? So yes the day you lost your job was a bad day but in the end, looking back, wouldn't you agree that it was a good day.

So, you won a million bucks in the lottery and went on a wild spending spree and before you knew it, you had spent it all and were now left with more debt than you can handle. So the day you won was a good day but again in looking back with what you know now, was it really a good day?

As I'm sure you are aware, good days and bad days can depend on a number of factors both present and future.

So, what's the problem here?

Unfortunately people who have bad days will often stay stuck mentally in the inner torment and ultimately fail to achieve the potential good that awaits them. And vice versa.

Now, I'm not saying that all good days are really good and all bad days are really bad. If you lost a loved one due to accident or illness that that would really qualify as a bad day no matter what and if you got a promotion that launched you into wealth and success that would really qualify as a good day.

Now that I have your attention let me get the three major points of this article – are bad days really bad and good days really good, what determines whether they are? And thirdly are you letting your days determine the quality of your life or are you determining the quality of your life regardless of whether you are having a good or bad day?

The definitions of good and bad (not using a religious or spiritual definition here and I'm not referring to evil when I use the word bad) can vary depending on any number of factors.

The point is that bad for one person won't necessarily be perceived as bad by another and good for one person will not always be defined as good by someone else.

Everyone perceives all of life's circumstances uniquely, based on their conditioned mental environment, attitudes, experiences, history, personal philosophy and mindsets. All I want to establish at this point is that the concepts of good and bad are not always clear cut or specific. There are always degrees of good and bad and these variances will contribute to a person's view or definition of them.

Now that we have the above points established let's discuss our three main points.

Are bad days really bad and good days good?

Why are some days good or bad for people? Is it their expectations, agendas, fears or hopes that contribute to their interpretation of life's events? All of these are factors and yes, many others, but these are the vital ones. When you want or expect something to happen and it doesn't, it's natural to be disappointed, but the real question is do you let this disappointment determine your overall response to the circumstances or events you didn't want as you go through the moments and other circumstances of your day?

Fear is the number one negative contributor to a person's interpretation of events or circumstances that occur as they live their life. The ability to control these fears is critical to stay focused on what is good and positive in your life.

So whether a day is a good day or a bad day in a sense has nothing to do with what happens (yes there can be a few major exceptions) during your days but how you choose to view them or interpret them given your goals, plans, desires and ability to respond in an appropriate way.

What determines what they are?

There are degrees in everything including – good and bad. Being told you have a life threatening illness vs. discovering that your car has a mechanical problem are two potentially negative experiences if you choose to see them that way. But consider, if you are told you have a life threatening illness, but you can change the out come if you change your lifestyle. Couldn't that in the end turn bad news into good news if you choose to see it that way?

You were just told you are being offered a huge promotion with a tremendous increase in compensation – a good thing right? However, to accept it requires you to move half way across the country, something that will have a tremendous negative impact on your family situation? So, could this really be a bad thing rather than a good one? Life happens and in the end how we interpret the circumstances of each day will often determine their ultimate good or bad for the long term.

Let's wrap this up with – what is controlling the quality of your days – your days or you?

We all have choices every day as to how we will handle each of life's issues whether positive or negative. We can celebrate or whine, we can stay stuck or grow and we can bring optimism or pessimism to what crosses our path. In the end the quality of our life depends on our outlook, attitudes, mindsets and whether we want to take charge of our days or let our day's events determine our attitudes and responses.

No one gets all good or all bad in their life, but the thing to remember, as I have said, what is good for one person could be bad for another and vice versa. In the end it isn't what our days bring to us that really matters when it comes to the quality of life, but how we re-act or respond to them.

A person, who feels like a victim or stuck, will tend to bring this mindset to each of life's situations while a person who wants to take charge of their life, even though what comes to them isn't what they wanted or expected, will find a way through the maze of difficulty, discouragement, despair or failure.

So let me leave you with a simple question – are the events and people in your day controlling your life and its outcomes or are you determining the quality of your life and future with a simple philosophy – no matter what comes to me I will make the best of it and be grateful that I am alive.

Make it a tremendous year,
Tim Connor
Business Development
MHProNews.com
MHMSM.com
And the new MHLivingNews.com
704-895-1230

tim@mhmsm.com

Mountain Top Inspirations

November 30th, 2011 No comments

Weekly Quote

“Mountain tops are for inspiration and breadth but the fruit is found in the valley.” Ruth Graham

Weekly TimBit – More and more stuff!!!

As we head toward another holiday season I would ask you to consider . . . do you have too much stuff? Does your family have too much stuff? Does your life depend on stuff? I could go on and on.

Stuff, toys and trappings of success. More is better. Bigger is better. Are you measuring your success with all of the tangible possessions that are a testimony to your worth, hard work and value?

Don’t get me wrong – I like stuff, too. The question that needs to be asked however is – if you lost all of your stuff, would you still feel successful? If you had to begin all over again from scratch, would you still believe in yourself and your mission, goals, purpose and life?

Too many people are living in a fantasy world believing that their wealth, address, car, toys and various possessions are symbols of their achievements and success. Most of us have a lot more stuff than we need, will ever use, or can possibly enjoy. I know people who have 5 cars in their garages, 4 homes, enough furniture to outfit a hotel, and very little peace of mind.

Stuff is nice. Stuff makes life more convenient – or does it? Computers simplify our lives. Who ever sold that bill of goods is a genius. I have spent more time plowing through manuals, dealing with computer technicians, trying to recover lost data, and attempting to evaluate all of the information my computer spews out to me on a daily basis than I care to remember. Not to mention hours trying to find my way through the maze of the Internet.

I believe in progress, but I also believe in simplicity. I like toys, but I wish I had all of the cash I have spent on toys in the past 35 years – toys that have broken, rusted, gone out of style, been lost etc.
Why not take an inventory of all of the stuff that you no longer need, use, like or want. It might be an interesting exercise.

My final thought: Stuff is good, too much stuff can be distracting. Toys are fun, but too many toys can cause you to use them only out of guilt. Learning is wise, but what are you using of what you are learning? Pleasure is nice but to immerse yourself only in pleasure will tend to deaden you to the needs, pain and reality of real life and keep in mind that pleasure and happiness are defined differently.

Question for the week

Got too much stuff?

Recommended Reading

The Road to Happiness is Full of Potholes, Yours Truly

Make it a great week,
In His service,
Tim