Living Wisely – Fun

February 10th, 2016 No comments

Wisdom – the blending of – information, knowledge, experience, truth, reality, maturity -to achieve dreams, goals, life purpose, inner peace and happiness.

Each week I share a simple truth that can help you live with faith, courage, integrity, peace, purpose and success.

This week’s topic – Fun

In a high stress – fast paced – technology driven world – most people today tend to take life far too seriously.  We are not guaranteed another day let alone another year so why not turn off your mobile device, disconnect your TV, play hooky and just do something you have been putting off for weeks maybe even years.  Have some fun today.  It doesn’t matter how you define fun.  Just have some.  You will be better able to face the struggles, problems, challenges and trials that life throws your way.   While you are at it, why not brighten someone else’s day as well.  Do something to bring a smile to their face, make them laugh or help them have some fun.  You both will feel better.  

Live wisely this week, 

Tim ##

Tim Connor, CSP World renowned Speaker, Trainer and best selling author of over 80 titles. Box 397, Davidson, N.C. 28036 USA, 704-895-1230 (voice) tim@timconnor.com (email) - www.timconnor.com (Website) Why not connect with me on: FaceBook/LinkedIn
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Passion, Decisions and Closure

December 26th, 2015 No comments

Passion – For success and happiness education is important. Effort is necessary. Desire is a must. But passion – that’s the critical ingredient in all success. It is an inner driving force that leads, prods or even requires you to keep on keeping on and never quit, give up or let circumstances beyond your control cause you to relent or retreat. It is in your DNA. It touches everything you touch and it is simply a way of life. Yes, at times in life it can fade or seem to be absent, but it is always there lying beneath the surface waiting for you to act. No matter how discouraging situations might seem it will not let you let go of the need to move forward. It is not attached to specific outcomes or achievements but it is relentless keeping you moving one step at a time into the future no matter how difficult those steps might seem. It overcomes despair, failure, uncertainty, hopelessness and even fear.

Decisions – Every day we all make decisions – some are life changing while others are just routine and easy or even small or insignificant. But, keep in mind whether a decision is a small one or a huge one they all have consequences. The question is – do you have a decision strategy or process when it comes to deciding – anything or do you just leave it all up to how you feel that day, the weather, chance or just luck and whatever will be -will be?

What exactly is a decision process or strategy? Without giving you more information that you want, let me just repeat that making decisions is the easy part especially if you have a history of not following through on decisions. So the real challenge is not the decision but the will, courage and confidence to take action.

A simple decision process is; consider all alternatives and their potential consequences (you can’t guarantee any of these), stay in reality and not fantasy, deal in truth and not just personal perception as perceptions are often based on many false premises, decide, develop a plan to implement your decision and make sure it includes dealing with possible obstacles, opportunities and the potential for failure, write down the plan, give it a timeline for results or outcomes, keep inspecting your actions and adjust as necessary, if you find that you don’t have passion, courage or confidence in the actions then re-visit the decision.

Closure – Sooner or later everything in life ends. A career, a business, a relationship, a hobby or life. In his great book, Transitions, William Bridges talks a great deal about closure and its impact on our future. Native Americans have a closure ceremony and scripture says that “this too shall pass.” When something ends most people want to quickly fill the void with something new – a new relationship, a new job or a new – something. People generally dislike vacuums in their life. If they give up golf they will replace it with tennis. If they don’t like their current church they will search for another one etc. A great quote by Pogo states, “Wherever you go, there you are” in other words we always take who we are – attitudes, likes, prejudices, expectations, needs, desires, mindsets etc. into every new situation. So, if what caused you to need a change was something outside yourself – first ask yourself – could it be me?

Closure is letting go of what was. It is not taking regret, past memories or disappointments or unrealized expectations in what was into the next stage or circumstances of life. Closure is declaring an ending and moving on with faith, courage, belief and confidence.

Live wisely this week,
Tim Connor

Tim Connor, CSP World renowned Speaker, Trainer and best selling author of over 80 titles. Box 397, Davidson, N.C. 28036 USA, 704-895-1230 (voice) tim@timconnor.com (email) - www.timconnor.com (Website) Why not connect with me on: FaceBook/LinkedIn
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Luck, timing and preparation

December 19th, 2015 No comments

Is there any such thing as luck? The luck of the Irish? You lucky stiff… I never win anything… Everywhere people seem to have different views of luck or good fortune. I believe in timing and I also believe in synchronicity that concept where certain things seem to happen and we can’t explain why.

I also believe in preparation, effort and persistence. Isn’t it is amazing how many people who work hard, study diligently, commit to their goals and purpose often have more than their share of good luck?

There is a great old saying: that luck is nothing more than preparation meeting opportunity.

I can’t tell you how to prepare, what to study, how hard to work or how long it will take. If I could, I wouldn’t be sitting at this computer right now. I’d be a well paid genius cruising the Caribbean on my 75′ sailboat.

I can tell you however, that most of this doesn’t matter. Surprised? Well, I have seen people have good fortune without a lot of work and I have seen many people toil their entire lives and not once get a single lousy break. I have known PhD’s who struggle financially and I know many high school drop-outs who have become millionaires. And, I know a couple of lottery winners who bought just one ticket, hit the jackpot and then spent the rest of their lives in misery.

So what does really matter? Six things in my opinion …

– belief in yourself and your goals, purpose, mission or destiny –

for the long haul no matter how many trials you face.

– the courage to whether the lows and failures and humility and gratitude when you reach the top of the mountain.

– a support system of people who care, believe in you and are willing to be there when you need them.

– action and direction – you have to do something – and you have to keep moving in the right direction without worrying about the destination.

-controlling your thoughts.

– have positive expectations.

I am sure there are many more and that some of you might take issue with this philosophy. So before you all e-mail me that I have gone off the deep end let me finish with: I believe in education and learning. I believe in hard work. I believe in persistence against all odds and I believe in faith and hope. I believe God is with me every step of the way. I even believe in a little good luck – now and then. But, I also believe that chance favors the fertile mind, active body and willing spirit. The Quakers have a wonderful saying: Pray, but move your feet!

A few questions;

1)Are you waiting for mother luck to bless you?

2)Do you spend a lot of money on lotto tickets? Hoping?

3)Do stick with your goals, purpose and mission in the face of adversity?

4)Are you waiting for God to do it all?

In His Service,
Tim Connor

Tim Connor, CSP World renowned Speaker, Trainer and best selling author of over 80 titles. Box 397, Davidson, N.C. 28036 USA, 704-895-1230 (voice) tim@timconnor.com (email) - www.timconnor.com (Website) Why not connect with me on: FaceBook/LinkedIn
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Draw a line in the sand

December 14th, 2015 No comments

Over the years, I have been brought to my knees a number of times facing problems, challenges and failure. I can tell you, with a great deal of personal certainty, that no one – and I mean no one – escapes this life without some adversity, problems or failure. The value in these is to learn and grow. There is another benefit as well: it tests your resolve.

Years ago, I was facing a serious personal and career crossroads. I was not doing well (probably an understatement). Now, I have lots of friends and peers who, on the surface, seem to just successfully float through life and their careers. At first glance, they don’t seem to have any real serious business, financial or career challenges. But, I can tell you, do not be misled by outer appearances. One of the differences between me and them is that I have developed the courage to share reality with my readers and audiences. I do not do this in search of pity or emotional support. I do it because I need the constant reminder that each of us has our own personal dragons we must slay if we hope to achieve success and happiness.

One thing I have learned is that sooner or later you have to draw a line in the sand. You have to say to yourself, “No matter what life gives me, I can handle it. I will not give up or in. Period.” I had one of those little talks with myself in 1991. It was the middle of the recession, and I was scrounging for every dollar I could find. I even spent a Sunday afternoon looking through the want ads for a job (after ten years as a full time speaker). But, as I was circling ads to investigate the potential, God spoke to me, his message was clear – “You teach resolve, wisdom, discipline, courage, persistence etc. and I throw you are curve and you are ready to throw in the towel. Practice what you preach or I no longer need you as one of my spokespersons anymore. Draw a line in the sand and carry on no matter what and watch what I will do for you.” These were not audible words but the message was loud and clear – draw a line in the sand. You know, friends, from that moment on, things started to get better – slowly at first, then more rapidly.

This doesn’t mean I am home free. It only means that I surmounted one more hurdle. And there will be others. I don’t like them, but I know I need them to get better, wiser and stronger. And so do you.

Have you drawn your line in the sand yet? Have you said, “No matter how tough it gets, I will not quit.”? If you have, I salute you. If you are waiting for some miracle, I will hope for you that it appears. If you are wavering, struggling or considering calling it quits, I would encourage you to remember one thing I learned over thirty years ago from one of my first mentors: he said to me, “Tim, the cost of failure is always higher than the cost of success. You will have to pay one of the prices. Which would you rather pay?”

A few questions;

1) Is there an area of your life where you have not drawn a line in the sand? Why not?

2) Things taking longer than you hoped or planned to get better, change or improve? How are you handling it?

3) Ever feel like quitting? Joint the club. But, it’s one thing to feel like it and another to do it.

In His Service,
Tim Connor

Tim Connor, CSP World renowned Speaker, Trainer and best selling author of over 80 titles. Box 397, Davidson, N.C. 28036 USA, 704-895-1230 (voice) tim@timconnor.com (email) - www.timconnor.com (Website) Why not connect with me on: FaceBook/LinkedIn
 

Resilience

November 25th, 2015 No comments

One of the critical skills for ongoing success is the ability to bounce back from adversity. Sooner or later in life everyone experiences failure, disappointment, setbacks or the loss of desire to keep – keeping on.

Over the years I have had more than my share of failures as well as successes. Just because you have failed, doesn’t mean you are a failure. Just because you have achieved success doesn’t make you a success. Many people have hit bottom, only to climb out and achieve greatness and many people have done great things only to end up broke, alone and without any lasting feeling of accomplishment.

Success and failure are neutral concepts. What makes either of them positive or negative in your life is not the event, circumstance or situation, but what you do with it along the path of life. No one that I have ever met in my world travels has had a life filled with nothing but failure or only one success after another. Resilience is your ability to keep coming back, again and again and again. No matter how many times life throws you a curve or brings you to your knees – you try again – you try something new, something different, or something old in a new way. You refuse to give in or up. Here are a few ideas to consider when you feel like quitting.

1. Failure/adversity/problems are temporary – this too shall pass.

2. You need it so you could learn a valuable lesson.

3. You need to be softened by life.

4. You need it to give your life more integrity or character.

5. You need it so you could be an example for others.

6. You need to rid yourself of some ego, arrogance or ignorance.

7. You need it to grow in some area of your life.

8. You need it so you could learn to laugh at yourself.

9. You need it so you can learn to live in the present.

10. You need it so you can learn to take life less seriously.

If I can accomplish what I have in my career these past 35 years (not bragging) having been brought to my knees again and again, with failure, disappointment, more problems than any one person deserves – then you too – regardless of your current station in life or circumstances can rise again wiser, stronger and better . All you have to do is reach inside and find the courage, strength, stamina, attitudes, self-belief, self-confidence and rekindle your desire for what you believe you can do and will do.

Hang on to your dream, no matter how big or impossible it might seem to you based on current circumstances. And, don’t let others convince you that you can’t do it, won’t do it or shouldn’t do it. Be true to yourself and your destiny. You have everything you need, right now, inside of you to carry on. And don’t forget – God is in your corner. All you have to do is do it.

A few questions:

1)What is your first reaction/response to adversity/failure?

2)Do you tend to let circumstances determine your life?

3)Is resilience easy or hard for you?

4)What is resilience trying to teach you today?

In His Service, Tim

Tim Connor, CSP World renowned Speaker, Trainer and best selling author of over 80 titles. Box 397, Davidson, N.C. 28036 USA, 704-895-1230 (voice) tim@timconnor.com (email) - www.timconnor.com (Website) Why not connect with me on: FaceBook/LinkedIn
 

This week’s 3 Tips – Closed doors, Open doors, No doors

October 7th, 2015 No comments

This week’s 3 Tips – Closed doors, Open doors, No doors

Closed doors – Recently had a door closed in your life or career you were not expecting? What are closed doors? And I’m not referring here to closing the bathroom door for some privacy. Closed doors are when we want something, need something, don’t want to lose something etc. and the door slams in our face subtly or overtly saying to us: Not now, not ever, you don’t deserve this, you really don’t want this, if you knew how it would turn out if the door was open and you went through it you would regret the action. Why do doors close and what can we do when they do and it doesn’t matter if it’s a career door, business door, relationship door, financial door – got it?

They close because the universal flow of life is beyond our comprehension and our role is to often accept what comes to us and yes, just flow. This doesn’t mean you should just sit idly by watching life progress and taking a passive role, but to accept the fact that there are reasons doors close that we may never know the why’s, when’s or where’s. The simple truth is that when a door closes we can fight back, trudge on, keep trying to open the door or we can learn from the process accepting that it wasn’t meant to be for whatever reason. Again I’m not suggesting this – kay surah, surah life approach but the willingness to ask what am I supposed to learn and then move on waiting for the next door to open. Easy? Never. Necessary? Yes.

Open doors – There are times when we go through an open door just because it’s there. The problem is – just because a door opens doesn’t mean we have to go through it. I can’t tell you how many open doors I have gone through in my life – when in hindsight looking back at how a situation or relationship turned out, if I had known in advance the consequences I would have not gone through it. Why do we go through open doors? You’ve heard the saying – “When a door closes a new door opens.” This doesn’t mean we should jump at every opportunity.

Usually when a door opens that we want, we tend to fail to pay attention to others that are open for us and choose to go through a certain one based on our needs, desires, fears, hopes or goals that are grounded in the short term rather than the long term. How do you know if you should go through a particular open door? Listen to your inner voice and it will guide you in the right direction- I promise you, but if you only use ego, the need for control, fear, attachment to outcomes or failure to try and see the long term you will go through the wrong open door. But when you do choose to go through an open door do it with faith, courage, wisdom, maturity and commitment.

No doors – So, we have covered the basics regarding closed and open doors. Either of these topics could be a 200 page book but I have kept them as short as possible and to the point as this is the format for these tips. Now let’s take a brief look at – no doors. You might ask – how can there be no doors – they are either open or closed? No doors doesn’t mean there are no closed or open doors – it means that you can’t or won’t recognize them or acknowledge them for any number of reasons. Yes, they are always there but there are many factors that can prevent you from seeing them. Here are a few. You are stuck in a current mindset, attitude or opinion about something. You are afraid to admit that you are unwilling to go through an open door or you are in a negative mental position to accept a closed door to trust what is right or best for you now or you’re future. How many people do you think go through their day, career, relationships or life failing to recognize doors as open or closed – they are blind to what lies in front of them? You might be surprised at the percentage of people who are just living life in a limbo state unwilling to risk something new or different and embrace the uncertainty of the future and how it might impact the quality of the rest of their life.

Live wisely this week, Tim

Tim Connor, CSP World renowned Speaker, Trainer and best selling author of over 80 titles. Box 397, Davidson, N.C. 28036 USA, 704-895-1230 (voice) tim@timconnor.com (email) - www.timconnor.com (Website) Why not connect with me on: FaceBook/LinkedIn
 

Fun

September 21st, 2015 No comments

Having fun today?  This week?  This year? In life in general?  You would be amazed at how many people lack fun in their life.  And I often include myself.  Too busy?  Too worried?  Too fearful? Too much on your plate? Don’t know how to have fun?  These questions are endless, but the questing is – if your life lacks fun – what is or are the causes or contributors?

What is fun really?  Is it watching your favorite team on TV?  A week at the beach? A trip around the world or something as simple as enjoying time with friends or family?

During my life (I have spoken in 25 countries and seen much of the world) there have been times when what could have been fun wasn’t for any number of reasons – stress, busyness or just tired. As time has passed I have erased items from my bucket list that I have wanted to do simply for a lack of time, money or energy but in the end why do many of us (including myself) wait till times are just right defining fun just as the BIG stuff?

There comes a time for all of us when age, health or responsibilities will reduce or eliminate our opportunities for the fun things in life.  I know as the years are quickly passing and I HATE crossing stuff off my bucket list.

Fun isn’t what you are doing or who you are with – it is who you are.  Do you bring a fun mindset to everything including work, career or even routine activities like cutting the grass, running errands or sitting in traffic?

Having fun shouldn’t be hard or challenging.  It shouldn’t be put off or depend on what you are doing or who you are with.  Fun is (and I repeat) a mindset, an attitude, a philosophy that you bring to whatever you are doing not what you are doing or who you are with.  Fun should be easy and it doesn’t have to cost anyyhting.

I recall when my youngest daughter was only five how much fun we had when I was just reading to her every night at bedtime.  Or, when we were walking our dog.

It’s a medical fact that people who have fun mindsets live longer, get sick less and enjoy life more than people who can’t find time or the ability to laugh, even at the simplest things in life – even problems or stressful times.

I’m not suggesting that everything in life is fun but we can bring a fun attitude to even the most difficult tasks or activities.  How about you?  How would you define yourself on what I refer to as the Fun Meter?  Give yourself a rating on your fun attitude in life in general – 1 you don’t even know what fun is or 10 and everything is fun – or somewhere in between.  Might be an interesting and revealing activity.

A few questions:

1) Do you have a fun mindset?

2) Is it hard for you to have fun?

3) Would others consider you a fun person?

4) What do you have to be doing to have fun?

 

In His Service, Tim

Tim Connor, CSP World renowned Speaker, Trainer and best selling author of over 80 titles. Box 397, Davidson, N.C. 28036 USA, 704-895-1230 (voice) tim@timconnor.com (email) - www.timconnor.com (Website) Why not connect with me on: FaceBook/LinkedIn
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Purpose

September 14th, 2015 No comments

You would be amazed at how many people go through their life from day to day and even year to year as what I refer to as “Life Wanderers” without a definite life purpose, direction or any sense of how today matters when it comes to the rest of their life.

Purpose can mean many things to many people but let’s keep this simple – purpose is having a specific life direction that guides and leads you through each day’s opportunities, choices, decisions and challenges. It doesn’t matter your position, age, roles, education, gender, race or history – what matters is how you live today and what meaning this has on your entire life.

Purpose is a commitment to live with gusto, courage, faith, hope and discipline – whether you are employed, retired, a parent or any other life role.

Purpose is a guiding philosophy that contributes to your every decision, action, behavior and goal. It is the willingness to stick with it or stay on the chosen path regardless of life’s problems, disappointments, failures and heartaches.

As a global speaker I have had many circumstances in life that have challenged me to question my purpose when in times of trials and adversity I questioned the integrity of my purpose and often asked myself – is it worth it? Is this really what I am meant to do? Is there something better or more out there? And, I’m not sure how much more of this I can handle – maybe it’s time for a new direction.

But in the end my purpose was imbedded in my DNA and I somehow always stuck with it. In the end life matters – what you accomplish, who you are, who you serve, what you learn, how you help or teach others and finally your ability in the end to say – yes – it was all worth it – I am glad I didn’t stray from my purpose, mission and reason for living – I have lived a meaningful and wonderful life.

A few questions

1)   Do you have a life purpose?

2)   Do you ever question it?

3)   Have you given up your purpose due to others or circumstances?

4)   Has your purpose left you with any regrets?

In His Service, Tim

Tim Connor, CSP World renowned Speaker, Trainer and best selling author of over 80 titles. Box 397, Davidson, N.C. 28036 USA, 704-895-1230 (voice) tim@timconnor.com (email) - www.timconnor.com (Website) Why not connect with me on: FaceBook/LinkedIn
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Appreciation

August 30th, 2015 No comments

We all want appreciation – from family, bosses, friends and sometimes even total strangers – with a simple – thank you. In a world that is rapidly becoming very self-absorbed the ability to show appreciation for even the smallest actions or behaviors is becoming almost obsolete.

I will guarantee that someone will do something for you today or you will do something for someone else that deserves a heartfelt show of appreciation and I’m not talking here about manners or simple courtesies, but the willingness and ability to let others know how much you appreciate them for who they are or what they do. Stop for a moment and think about someone you know that has failed to show you appreciation for something and while you are at it someone who deserves appreciation from you but has failed to get it.  How do both make you feel? Regret?  Sadness? Or something else?

Appreciation is not hard but it does take the right spirit and genuine gratitude and the ability to show it no matter the person or circumstances.
So let me ask you

1) Who in your life deserves some appreciation from you?

2) What is preventing you from showing it?

3) Who has failed to appreciate you and how has that impacted your

relationship with them?

4) Do you consider yourself an “appreciative” person?

5) Who can you give appreciation to today that will add value to your life

and theirs?

 

In His Service, Tim

Tim Connor, CSP World renowned Speaker, Trainer and best selling author of over 80 titles. Box 397, Davidson, N.C. 28036 USA, 704-895-1230 (voice) tim@timconnor.com (email) - www.timconnor.com (Website) Why not connect with me on: FaceBook/LinkedIn
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Knowledge vs. wisdom

August 12th, 2015 No comments

I don’t care how much you know or how smart you think you are – knowledge is useless unless you apply it in the right way, at the right time and in the right proportion. I can’t tell you how many people I have met during my world travels speaking to a variety of audience how many people in the room thought they were the “smartest person in the room” – I know I wasn’t.

Got a degree? A PhD? A college drop out? Whatever – it isn’t what you know that matters in a rapidly changing world – it is how you blend your knowledge with experience, understanding, reality and objectives that really determines your ability to live with common sense, humility, compassion and yes wisdom.

Proverbs has dozens of comments on wisdom or the opposite – foolishness. I’m not suggesting you have to be a Scripture Guru to get it but there are lots of suggestions and ideas to ponder.

 Information and knowledge is overrated today – just look at the issues, problems or challenges that so called smart people deal with on a daily basis. Having said this – you can’t gain wisdom if you don’t have knowledge so the challenge is to focus on the right knowledge that will better guide your life journey and your career, business or relationships.

Yes, we all need more and/or new knowledge and I’m not talking here about spending hours every day searching or trolling the internet for solutions, ideas or information. When too much of the wrong information clutters your brain you have less room for right or relevant information.

The world today is overloaded with information and I will guarantee that you are guilty of pursuing more of it every day. Great, but again the question – are you integrating the right information in the right way to improve the quality of your life?

Wisdom is the outcome of using the combination of knowledge, experience and understanding and this my friends takes time, courage and humility to increase or improve.

 It won’t happen on its own – you have to pursue wisdom.

 So let me ask you –

1)Do you have a process for turning knowledge into wisdom?

2)Do you think you are smarter than you really are?

3)Do you learn from your mistakes or bad decisions?

4)Is your mind cluttered with too much information?

In His Service, Tim

Tim Connor, CSP World renowned Speaker, Trainer and best selling author of over 80 titles. Box 397, Davidson, N.C. 28036 USA, 704-895-1230 (voice) tim@timconnor.com (email) - www.timconnor.com (Website) Why not connect with me on: FaceBook/LinkedIn