Words of Wisdom

Let me be clear from the onset Unmanaged stress contributes to more mistakes, poor decisions, mistrust, inconsistent morale and poor employee performance in general.

There are any number of issues that contribute to this stress issue a few of the major ones are;

-Ongoing change
-Uncertainty
-A lack of appreciation, recognition and validation
-Work overload
-Constant deadlines
-Poor organization communication
-Inadequate employee development
-Fear of what’s next
-Poor top-down and/or inconsistent management

Every activity (other than sitting on the beach reading your favorite novel) causes stress.Yes, everything. Winning the lotto, playing with your favorite pet, a wedding, a divorce, hiking your favorite trail, taking dance lessons, losing a job, starting a new one etc. etc. In essence there are good and bad stressors, but in the end they all have the same impact on your health and mental circumstances. And why? Because the mind doesn’t judge it treats all stressors the same as stress.

What is stress it is what is happening outside of you circumstances, situations, people you meet, what you are doing etc. and how you interpret what is happening and how you choose to respond internally to these.In other words – stress is your inside-out reactions and responses to outside-in circumstances, people and events.

Now that we have this out of the way let’s discuss three areas why and how is everything a stressor, what is the impact of poorly managed stress, what can we do to better control our stressors so they don’t kill us.

- Why and how is everything a stressor . . .

The mind is a sponge it takes in everything the stuff you want (the good stuff) and the stuff you don’t want bad stuff (yes there are some people who have learned how to filter out the bad stuff but sooner or later some of this junk gets into everyone’s mind like it or not.

What’s the bad stuff? Negative emotions and feelings caused by others, invalidating statements by many and just disappointment due to unrealized or hoped for expectations or desires. Why is this bad stuff?It really isn’t bad stuff, it’s just stuff, what makes it bad is our interpretation of it and reaction to it.

So you are thinking, “I just lost my job, my relationship is in a shambles and I have a serious health challenge – how is this just stuff?Come on get real here.”

I don’t have the time or energy to give you all of the research, evidence and reasons to support my theory – so here’s just one.

You lost a job, yes but I’ll bet a new door will open (if you will let it) that can be even a better job.Does this always happen? Of course not, but it can if you will let it and bring the right mindset to what is happening now.

You can choose to stay stuck in ‘victimhood’ or blame or any other negative attitude or you can learn, grow and move on with dignity, responsibility, courage and faith as a result of this situation.Here’s the problem if you choose to stay stuck in the negatives you will tend to increase your stressors over time and the outcome as I have previously said can be life threatening.Life happens.Period.We do the best we can with what it gives us or we can complain, whine or point our finger everywhere except at ourselves.Simple choice.

So to answer the question – everything that comes at us is a potential stressor a bad driver behind us, a poor waiter or waitress, bad weather on your day off I could go on for pages with this stuff but I’m sure you have better things to do (potential stressors waiting in the wings).

- What is the impact of poorly managed stress. . .

Let me just give you a simple list here;

- Poor health
- More worry
- Increased fear of the future
- Negative impact on all relationships
- Less productivity
- Wasted time
- Poorer or less open and honest communication
- Greater chance of an auto accident
- Increased medical costs
- More anxiety and frustration
- Less financial security

Not a pretty picture, I know but it is what it is.Under stress not everyone faces the same outcomes some people develop negative health issues while others may just ruin a relationship but the outcome is the same things get worse rather than better.

- What can we do to better control our stressors . . .

I’m sure you are running out of time or patience so I’ll leave you with a list.

-Eat more healthy foods.
-Exercise at least 20 minutes a day 3 X per week.
-Laugh more.
-Have more fun.
-Better manage your relationships with toxic or negative people.
-Spend more time with optimistic positive people.
-Let go of old emotional baggage.
-Don’t let other people’s garbage become yours.
-Get more sleep.
-Work on your patience.
-Control what you can and let go of what you can’t control.
-Don’t focus on the negatives in life.
-Stay focused on what’s really important.
-Use visualization, affirmations or meditation.And yes, prayer.
-Better manage your expectations.
-Stay in the present moment.
-Use psychological anchors.Not sure what these are? Check my article Archives.
-The world doesn’t revolve around you.Get over it.
-And finally Life is very short and passes by quickly so feel gratitude every day for all of the gifts God and Life gives you.

If stress is an issue for your employees, members or distributors/franchisees give me a call I have a three hour program that will help them reduce the negative impact of the stressors that are impacting their attitudes, mindsets and behavior in general.

“In times of stress be bold and valiant.”

Horace

In His Service, Tim

I am sure you have seen ripples in a stream or lake. These are caused by some external factor like wind, a passing boat or a school of fish. But ever noticed how far they travel before they sort of disappear into the rest of the water?

As a sailor I can tell you my boat has been rocked for several minutes due to the ripples of another boat that was hundreds of yards away from mine.

So, enough of the analogy, what’s this have to do with the purpose of this week’s article?

Trust me there are ripples to every event, decision, action, word spoken and even not spoken. These ripples can last for years and touch many people in the process. And yes, there are both positive and negative ripples as we go through our days and years.

One of the many definitions for the word Ripple – a series of repercussions or consequences. So is this starting to become a little more obvious where I’m heading?

Let me start with positive ripples. When you smile at someone, a stranger or a friend there is a better than average chance that they will smile at the next person they see. Share a friendly hello with someone and they will likely do the same with another person who crosses their path and so on. So your simple smile might eventually indirectly touch thousands of people, most of whom you do not know.

Share compassion, understanding or a listening ear with someone and they are likely to do the same when the opportunity appears. Another way to describe this is to “pay it forward’ – you may be familiar with this term.

Regardless, the point is that there are always consequences to our actions, decisions and words. So let’s dig into the main point I want to make – that there are consequences both negative and positive that touch others in some way that you may never be aware of.

I could give you numerous business, relationship, financial and health examples, but here are two common ones.

You make a rash and quick career decision to change employers due to your need for increased income. The position you accept is not ideal in many ways but it does pay more. Consequences? The ripple effect . . .

-Increased stress from working all day in a job that doesn’t feel right for some reason.

-Less patience with family due to this increased stress.

-Increased potential for illness due to this stress.

-Negative thought patterns on a regular basis.

-These thought patterns will increase the potential for conflict.

-Increased conflict has a negative impact on relationships.

-Over time you may start to feel guilt, resentment and even anger.

-These feelings can impact the way you drive, what you eat and how you treat others.

So, you accepted a position to solve a temporary situation but this decision is impacting many other areas of your life on a consistent daily basis.

Second example – You decide to purchase something you want but don’t need thereby leaving your resources a bit short for other more important items or financial requirements.

-You buy a new toy (boat, technology device, condo, – whatever) that you really don’t need but for some reason; (ego, insecurity, the need to feel successful, to impress others again – whatever) but now money becomes tight. People do this every December – buy presents on credit then have to spend months paying off these bills and for what – to buy stuff for people that often don’t need or even want what you buy them.

So as you try and recover from this purchase and try to enjoy it you start to feel remorse, guilt or even self-anger at your lack of common sense or financial maturity. Think these thoughts will manifest and spill over into your relationships? Your financial pressure? Your sense of responsibility being hurt in some way? Or, just having to make excuse or justify your purchase to family or friends.

I don’t know if you can relate to either of these two examples but I’ll guarantee I have you thinking about the short and long term consequences of poor decisions, bad choices, inappropriate words etc.

Everything has consequences. Some consequences are positive while others can be negative. Some can be short term while others can take their toll over years, but let me repeat – every choice, action, decision and behavior does not just sit there in the present it lingers for hours, weeks or even years thus – The Ripple Effect.

The answer – accept the fact that there will always be ripples no matter what you do or say, but you can positively impact them with better choices, wiser decisions and more mature actions and thoughtful behavior.

“Pure motives do not ensure perfect results.”

Bovee

In His Service,
Tim Connor

Let me begin with my favorite quote from my mentor Mark Twain. “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than the ones you did do.”

I love this quote as it is so profound and yet so simple and true. In fact I have it framed on my desk as a constant reminder.

Yesterday – a distant memory.  Tomorrow filled with promise, opportunity and whatever you choose to bring to it.  Yes, we create each of our tomorrows and as a result all of our yesterdays regardless of whether they are filled with wonderful happy memories or grief, sorrow and any other negative emotion.

I will guarantee that you have read something somewhere that stresses the importance and the gift of cherishing all of your present moments.  But, here’s the problem – most people know that’s all they have and will ever have, but research  indicates that the average person spends over 90% of their waking time focused and thinking about the past and/or the future.

Why is this?  For years I have studied brain function and emotions and there are physiological reasons for this behavior, but I won’t bore you with years of brain research other than to say that we can change these patterns of thought, but we must want to and know how to and then act.

Let me just say that there are billions of neural connections in the human brain and trillions of chemical reactions that take place every minute in your head and you don’t have to be consciously aware of any of them.  They happen automatically.  Just think you have over 80,000 heartbeats every day and do you spend one second in awareness of them?  No, but you become vividly aware when they stop.

We all have formed numerous mental habits of thinking over the years and these habits drive our thinking, actions, decisions and behavior.  So, if you are a worrier it’s simply because you have formed the habit of focusing on worry.  If you are a dreamer you have done the same but in a different way or direction.  One is negative and one is positive but they both focus on the future.

If you are filled with regret, grief or disappointment you are stuck in the past.

If you have an issue with patience –you are stuck in the future.  Almost every emotion or feeling is focused on what lies ahead or what is gone – the past.

And, let me tell you – all of this mental energy is wasted.  You can’t change or relive the past and you can’t control or manipulate the future no matter how hard you work, how much you plan and no matter how many goals you have. Yes, goals and plans are important but have you considered how much you have accomplished in life with having these be goals or how many goals you have had that have not come to pass? Goals set direction – that’s it. And why? Because no one knows what lies ahead from moment to moment.  All we can do is live those moments.

Life is lived one moment at a time and at some point these moments for all of us will end and at that point all of the worry, plans, stress, anxiety, goals, dreams, hopes, regret, anger, sadness and disappointment will no longer matter. Our time here is finished.

Let me leave you with a question – are you spending most of your waking time focused on the future, the past or now?

“You can never ride on the wave that came in

and went out yesterday.”

Wanamaker

Struggling with something now?  Had more than you share of struggle? Had a struggle-free life (I seriously doubt it)?

Why is it that all of us sooner or later struggle in life with; our careers, our relationships, finances, health or a myriad of other life circumstances?  Cause it’s normal, yes struggle comes with life and I can personally attest that as one who has spent his life learning, growing and living with optimism and hope that we can never avoid struggle of one kind or another sooner or later – I know I have not been able to avoid it.

So, if struggle is a normal part of life why do so many people wish they had fewer struggles?  Cause struggle is a pain in the A___, that’s why.

Is there a reason for struggle? YES!

OK Tim, I don’t buy it, but for now I will listen so tell me why the struggles I have faced are good or good for me?

First of all some of us face more struggles in life than others and we all face different ones.  Some may struggle with money while others have more of it that they could ever spend but they struggle with some other life circumstance.  Money, luck, hard work, optimism or good genes will never eliminate struggle from your life.

Struggle like any other life situation gives us two simple choices – whine, complain, blame, feel like a victim or let whatever is happening cause anger, resentment or guilt.  OR, we can; grow, learn, say thank you or accept what is happening that we can’t control and make the best of it.

Notice I just said – control?  There are some things in life we can’t control and there are many things we can.  We can work hard and save money but there is no guarantee these skills or traits will give us immunity to those things we can’t control like; stupid drivers who slam into our trunk, weather that ruins an outdoor wedding or millions of other negative life circumstances.  But we can control our attitudes, life outlook, what we consume, what we do with our time and how we react to things we can’t control.

Simply put – struggle is a teacher.  We can learn from it or not.  If we do, there is a good chance we can avoid similar struggles again in the future. If we don’t, rest assured you will face another similar struggle again at some point in your future.

Yes, good habits, mindsets, values and behavior can help us avoid some of life’s struggles but not all of them.  And why not?  We are human, we make mistakes, we make bad decisions and choices and in life there are always consequences.  Save and spend wisely and you will most likely have a comfortable retirement.  Spend all you earn as you earn it and you will most likely have to work your butt of till the day you die.

Eat too many of the wrong foods and when you break the scale as you check your weight yep – you’ll have to go buy another scale.

Treat your body as a temple and you might live a long and healthy life – note I said MAY?  Lifespan is based on two things and two things only – genetic makeup and lifestyle choices. 

You can control only one of these so you have a 50/50 chance of a long life no matter how you live each day.

Struggle is never easy but consider – where you are, how far you have come, who you are now because of the struggles you have faced and how you dealt with them.

You either have a victim mentality and no sense of personal responsibility or you can look in the mirror and smile as you say to yourself, “I am better, wiser and smarter today because of the way I have handled my previous struggles.

Before I wrap this up, I need to say one more thing about struggle – if you are not struggling now or never have, I’ll bet it’s cause you have never tried anything new, stretched yourself or wandered into unchartered territory in life, you just have an apathetic life attitude or you just love staying in ‘blame or whine mode’.

I’ll leave you with a question – which is your life approach – to learn as you go and keep using what you learn to create a better future or to fail to take mature responsibility for what life puts on your plate? Guess which group tends to be the happiest, have the most inner peace and yes, has greater and enduring success?  Your turn . . .

“The important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle.”

Pierre de Coubertin

My latest book, Blah. . . Blah . . . Blah – Don’t Tell Me – Show Me will be coming off the press in a few weeks so I thought I would give you a brief excerpt. If integrity based and honest communication is important to you in any or all of your relationships I encourage you to buy this book. At the end of the excerpt I will give you a special pre-publication sales offer.

Excerpt from chapter one -

Words are more than words, they are the way we communicate feelings, attitudes, beliefs, fears, hopes, dreams and so on, so if you keep telling the world you are going to do whatever it takes to accomplish something and the first time you hit a snag, you give in or up, well what were your real intentions? What gives words their integrity when it comes to interpretation is both your intent and the ability or willingness of the other person to grasp what your meaning is.

It’s simple, if you say one thing (stated intention) I’m going to lose weight and you don’t, well what do you think your real intention was?  You guessed it, to not lose weight.  So what’s the problem here?  Nothing unless you’re stated intentions don’t impact me.

Animals don’t get disappointed and why?  It’s simple – they don’t talk.  Yes they communicate but they don’t use words they use behavior and non-verbal methods of communication.  Yes there are a few exceptions, Those African Grey Parrots that talk. I’ve actually had a conversation with one of these, but I have to wonder was this just mimicking or thoughtful expression?

Can dogs smile?  No, but can they send you messages that they are happy? Yes.  Do cat’s laugh?  No, but they can send the message that they are in a playful state of mind.

Humans are the only known specie that communicates with reasoning or thought on two levels – verbal, non-verbal,

And here’s where the trouble begins, when there is an inconsistency between the verbal or spoken message and the non-verbal message.

Ever had a person tell you they loved you with words but their actions were totally inconsistent with these words?

Ever had someone say “I’ll call you” and they never did?

Ever heard, “I’ll get that done this week” and it didn’t happen?

Told someone that you would meet them at noon for lunch and they were late due to some last minute piddling?

Billions of statements like this are made every day.  Yes, sometimes legitimate things can get in the way of your promises or commitments but the question is – generally speaking – are you always true to your word? Are others in your life always true to theirs?  If not – how do you think it impacts your relationships with over time?  Think about it.

“The first ingredient in communication is truth, the next good sense, the third good humor and the fourth wit.”

Sir W. Temple

In His Service,

Tim

Have you ever had to let go of a dream? If so, was it due to someone else’s feedback or did you just outgrow or lose interest in it? Or, does it still linger deep in your consciousness or soul waiting for you to finally take some positive action?

Are you working towards some goals that you just are not making progress towards as quickly as you had planned or hoped?

Got some special wishes buried deep in your heart that you would love to experience but just are not sure if they are possible?

Don’t ever give up.  We create what we secretly desire only when we take consistent, positive and right actions.  But, there is a common denominator in the above three areas and that is – If you want something you can have it or achieve it as long as you believe strongly in your mind and heart and never let go of the passion and desire to accomplish it.

Yes, contrary to conventional wisdom you can accomplish anything in your life you want – you just can’t accomplish everything – there isn’t enough time (that is unless you have set the bar really low).  You have to focus on what is important and why and never give in or up to outside negative influence or allow inside negative messages cause you to let go of hopes, plans or desires.

If you start with this premise then the rest is simple but it will never be easy.  Achievement requires effort, patience, courage, persistence and action.  If you really want to achieve your dreams, whatever they are, if you only dream – that’s all they will ever be – dreams.  But, if you move steadily in the direction of your dreams with courage and behaviors that help you achieve the desire you say you want – one day you will look back and say to yourself – I knew I could do this.

So, if all of this is true why do so many people let go of goals, dreams or desires?

Is it fear or insecurity?  Could it be that you want to avoid the rejection of others? Or, is it simply you just don’t know how to begin?  Could be all of these so what CAN you do?

S T A R T and let go of what the end will look like.  You might think this is contrary to much of the inspirational and motivational teaching of the day – well it is.  No one and I mean no one can predict the future or know exactly what tomorrow will bring – be it achievement or disappointment, success or failure or stress or inner peace.  All we can do is just keep taking one step at a time with the end in sight but without attachment to it.

We all have goals, dreams, plans and desires whether written in stone or they are just wandering aimlessly around in our consciousness.  We all want something better or more whether in our spiritual, financial, physical life or our relationships.  But wanting will never be enough – you have to create a “white heat” of passion and desire and then turn off the inner and outer negative messages that can often be the only cause of our failure to begin. I might add that developing the necessary skills will always be a critical part of any successful journey into the future. So the choice is yours – keep getting better and smarter or accept staying stuck where you are!

You don’t know what you can do or is possible until you try. But, you have to be willing to turn of the naysayers in your life and all of the mental baggage that may stand in your way.  Easy?  Never.  Necessary? Always.  So just go for it and let the chips fall where they may.  You have nothing to lose by trying and everything to lose by not trying.

“Dreams are the touchstones of our characters.”

Thoreau

In His Service, Tim

I’ll bet you know someone who believes the world revolves around them.  Maybe you are one of these special people.  But I have to tell you, that if one more person is trying to get into the trunk of my car while driving at seventy miles per hour I think I am going to scream.

I don’t care if it’s someone’s impatience when standing in line or waiting for a returned phone call.  Or, people who believe that when they text or email you, you should have your cell phone or laptop available at a moment’s notice and respond before you take your next breath – these people need to understand that other than them, we have a life.  Or, is it parents in a restaurant that let their kids create chaos all around them while they scream and yell and you are trying to have a romantic or business meal?

Know anyone like this?  Come on…. It seems that most people today feel that they should be the center of everyone else’s world. 

Maybe a customer feels they are your only customer and you should respond to their every request immediately or a supervisor who expects you to drop all of your routine tasks to immediately respond to a request of theirs regardless of its urgency. 

I could give you dozens more examples where people believe that they are the center of the world, but I’m sure you don’t need more examples as we all have to deal with these people sooner or later in a variety of settings.

Why do so many people work themselves into a twit when life doesn’t go the way they expect or according to their schedule and agenda?

Is it ego or arrogance?  Is it narcissism or selfishness?  Is it their stress level or insecurity? Or is it just their need to feel important in some way?

There’s a book here, but I won’t bore you with numerous causes or reasons for this behavior, but I will give you four causes that I believe are at the core of this behavior. But, before I do, consider – are certain mindsets, positions, professions, age groups or different cultural backgrounds a contributor?

Well – how about – politicians or wealthy people?  Or certain races, genders or age groups? I’m not suggesting everyone or anyone in these groups falls into one of the four categories listed below, but after travelling the world speaking and working with a variety of clients in numerous industries, I have come to believe that the following tend to be indicators of how someone will tend to approach life, relationships or careers from a position of – “control obsession” (just made that up).

Low self-esteem – Self-esteem is simply how you define yourself.  With low self-esteem we will tend to always belittle ourselves in some way especially in the presence of others.  Out conversation will tend to be self-demeaning and apologetic.  I’m sorry is one of our favorite phrases when we have a low self-esteem issue.  The opposite is just as bad as when your self-esteem is too high you will tend to approach life and others with conceited, haughty, arrogant, snooty or puffed up attitudes.  Either one – low or high self-esteem has its drawbacks and causes us to, in some way alienate others.

A lack of a patient mindset – A major cause of stress is impatience or the need for things to happen on our schedule and according to our agenda.  When they don’t well, you’ve seen how these people can behave whether in traffic, a meeting or a restaurant.  Patience is the ability to flow and accept life.  It doesn't mean you have a victim mentality, but that you understand that stuff happens, that you often can’t control.  The key is to learn to deal with what you can control and let go of the stuff you can’t

The need for validation – Many people suffer from a need for appreciation, acceptance or validation.  In order to receive these they will often make themselves the center of attention in some way.  Whether it’s the way they dress, talk, brag or just inject themselves into conversations or situations – their goal is to be noticed and sometimes appreciated regardless of their status, position, background or any other life or career circumstance.

Over the top ego – We all have an ego or the need to feel important, successful, smart or any other trait that sends the message to the world that we are better than others in some way.  This is normal behavior.  The problem arises when this need becomes the single or major focal point of our life and we can’t admit failure, mistakes, bad decisions or any other action that might make us look unimportant, unsuccessful or just not up to other’s standards or expectations.  When ego becomes the major life driver we will tend to create distance between ourselves and others and send the message that we are just better or smarter than the rest of the world.

So, what do you think?  Anyone you know that is a control freak fall into one of these four categories?  Do you?  I’ll leave it there for your consideration or evaluation.

If you have a problem with control, patience or any of the above or you know someone who does – let me recommend a really great book – The Power of Patience by PJ Ryan.

“Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing; it was here first.”

Mark Twain

Make it a great day, Tim

Weekly TimBit - Selling and the four agreements

Before I get started, if you have never read the best-selling book, The Four Agreements by M. Ruiz, I urge you to buy it today and spend the next few days devouring his very wise counsel. To this day out of all of the books I have read this is still one of my favorites. So what do the four agreements have to do with selling? First the four agreements are;

-Be impeccable with your word.

-Make no assumptions.

-Take nothing personal.

-Always do your best.

Let's take a look at what these simple concepts (they may be simple but they can have a profound impact on the quality of your life) have to do with selling as a career.

-Be impeccable with your word. Essentially this agreement deals with the integrity of your word or what you say, how you say it and when you say it. When you lack this integrity you will tend to say what you feel is in the best interests of your ego or your need to succeed, look good to others or even be accepted by others. Selling is not about words but building and maintaining trust and when your words lack integrity or authenticity you will tend to send mixed and even wrong messages to others.

It is often difficult to always be impeccable with your word as we all have a variety of agendas, needs and desires we want satisfied or filled. But if you want to maintain relationships grounded in trust this agreement is at the foundation of all four.

-Make no assumptions. We all make assumptions. We make them to satisfy our own fears, needs, objectives or agendas. An assumption is nothing more than an expectation of what you feel will happen, is happening or happened from your own very personal and yes prejudiced perspectives.

When you make an assumption and you act accordingly you will set yourself up for frustration, disappointment and often regret and even failure.

When you assume your prospect likes your product or service because they said so and you don't follow-up with affirming questions you are making an assumption they are telling you the truth or the whole story. When you assume that someone is not interested in your product or service because they are difficult to get a hold of again you are assuming something that may be true but is not grounded in evidence but a guess on your part. If you assume a client is happy with their purchase because they don't tell you otherwise, this is a setup for disaster. Making assumptions in selling are a recipe for personal failure.

-Take nothing personal. We all have egos and we all have needs and expectations about how others should treat us, respond to us or communicate with us. It's common for someone to take a simple comment from another person in the wrong way or even be hurt by a comment that was not meant or given with a hurtful intention. We take things personal because we want, many people even crave, acceptance by others. As a result we tend to avoid people who we feel do not respect or honor us and our experience, knowledge or even our just being.

In sales taking things that others do, personally, will cause you to spend a great deal of personal time reflecting on your weaknesses, failures, problems or inadequacies. Everyone has a right to their own opinions but keep in mind just because they have them doesn't mean they are right or are a correct description of us. One of the major areas where this impacts salespeople is in the area of rejection. When you are rejected the general first response is to take it personal. This is a mistake. Yes, the person may be rejecting you but the point is, this rejection is coming from their frame of reference or their reality and not the reality. To take others actions or words personally is to give them power over you – who you are, what you believe, how you behave etc.  

-Always do your best. Doing your best is often a function of a variety of factors. If you are tired, stressed out, living in discouragement or are fearful of some situation – these mindset will influence your ability to do your best. If you feel insecure or you have low self-esteem you will tend to not do your best. If you have a need to please others more than please yourself – you will tend not to do your best. Doing your best doesn't mean perfection or even doing it right or according to someone's else's expectations, needs or agendas it means simply doing the best you can with what you have, know or believe. Doing your best today doesn't mean you won't do it better tomorrow and doing your best doesn't mean that what you do will please others but doing your best allows you to look in the mirror and smile and say to yourself – I did my best and mean it.

Doing your best in sales simply means that you always perform as well as you can regardless of how new you are to the profession, how much disappointment or previous failure you have experienced and always giving the best you can to every prospect and client.

Make it a great week and a tremendous year, In His service, Tim

I’m sure you are well aware that spring always follows winter and fall always precedes it.  Duh.  Not trying to insult you here just to make a simple point that has been true for thousands of years. Seasons come and go at their own pace and there is nothing we can do to slow them down or speed them up or influence their behaviors – they have their own agenda and schedule.

Having said this, you would be amazed at how many people try to rush the seasons of their lives and yes, each life has its four seasons and they come and go often with little regard for our plans, hopes, fears, dreams and desire to control them.

Before I continue let me clarify the quote at the end of this article.  Yes, time passes at its own pace and offers its unique lessons to each of us but, this doesn’t mean we should just sit idly by waiting for things to change or improve on their own as time does move from one minute and one day to the next.  OK, now that that is out of the way, let me get back to the basis of this message – the seasons of life.

Let me briefly describe each of them.

Winter – times of; despair, adversity, discouragement, pain, problems, challenges, uncertainty, regret, disappointment, resentment, endings and fear.

Spring – times of hope, dreams, new beginnings, plans, goals, desire, opportunity, optimism, belief, planting seeds and confidence.

Summer – times of relaxation, fun, enjoyment, wonderful memories, confidence, belief, effort, laughter, travel, vacations, easy days and pleasant nights.

Fall – times of harvesting, success, dreams realized, accomplishments, patience, rewards and contentment.

Yes, each of these seasons can have other – both positive and negative circumstances, emotions and outcomes, but each generally has a basic theme that generally defines this period of our lives.

Therefore there are three questions I would ask – what season are you currently in, in your life?  How are you handling or managing it and are you effectively preparing for the next season?

What season are you currently in?

The seasons of life come in no particular order unlike nature’s seasons.  You can be in winter as a young person as well as when you are a senior citizen.  You can experience the joy of summer during your retirement years or you can find this time filled with effort, challenges and relentless problems.  Keep in mind that each of us during our life can go through cycles of the four seasons where we move from winter to spring and back to winter.  In life, a season can last a few weeks or several years, depending on how we think, act and behave during each season.

Fail to learn the necessary life lessons during a particular season and rest assured, you will find yourself once again facing similar issues or problems again in the future.

The challenge for each of us regardless of the season we find ourselves in at any given moment is to behave in a mature, responsible and positive way.  Just because it’s fall and a time of harvesting previous decisions, actions or effort doesn’t mean you should just sit back and bask forever in the sunshine of blessings and success.  You might want to consider some actions or decisions that will help you get through the coming winter with less pain and struggle.

If you find yourself in a winter that just won’t seem to end, this might be a time for continuous reflection, introspection and self-evaluation.  Or, it could be a time of renewal as you prepare for the effort required during the coming spring and summer.

Regardless of the season you find yourself in at this time, it would be wise to maintain attitudes of growth, maturity, maintaining the right life outlook and recognizing that whatever season you are in is only temporary. This is the best approach you can bring to any current season.  Just keep thinking – this too shall prepare me (or as many people are fond of saying – this too shall pass).

How are you handling or managing it?

Each season of life requires different decisions, actions and behaviors.

When in spring periods (again – times of growth opportunity and planting seeds) you need discipline, effort, patience and belief.  This is a time of waiting and planning.  It’s a time for confidence, action and consistency.  When your actions and behaviors embrace these mindsets you are setting yourself up for future success in the coming seasons.  Without them you will fail to realize the hopes, dreams and results you desired.

When in the summer season (again – times of enjoyment, effort and confidence) it is vital that you maintain vigilance, balance of work and play and patience. Ignoring your spring efforts (of planting seeds etc.) will guarantee that your harvest in the fall will be less than expected or desired. This is a time of blended activities – enjoying the playful summer days and nights while not neglecting your efforts and goals.

When in the fall season (see above definition) it can be easy to just enjoy the fruits of your previous labors and just reap your harvest day after day.  But again caution is advised as winter is just around the corner and if you fail to harvest successfully which includes mental and physical preparation for what lies ahead, you may find your winter harder and longer than you can endure.  Fall is a time for enjoying as well as preparing for what is around the next corner.

When in the winter season (see above definition) this can be a time of despair, discouragement and a loss of faith and hope.  It can test your resolve, patience and self-belief and confidence.  During this season it is critical that you keep your mind and eye on what lies ahead (spring) and not get bogged down in the dark, long, cold and hard days and nights.  During winter it is easy to fall prey to what is happening in the moment, but I caution you – one of the best actions you can take during winter is to strengthen your resolve, understanding and patience for what you are going through knowing that it is just part of the ongoing life process and that before you know it spring will arrive.

Are you effectively preparing for the next season?

Here are a few things to consider regardless of the season you find yourself in at any given life period.

-Always be reading, learning and growing.

-Make no assumptions.

-Don’t take anything personally.

-Don’t let circumstances determine your behaviors and attitudes.

-Always do your best.

-Turn off outside negative influences.

-Surround yourself with the right people.

-Accept that failure and problems are normal.

-Learn to see failure, disappointment and adversity as learning tools.

-Don’t let others push your emotional buttons.

-Life isn’t about what’s happening but how you learn from what’s happening.

-Optimism is a better life approach than pessimism.

-Success and achievements do not define you.

-Life is about relationships and not stuff.

-Life isn’t about getting but giving.

-There is no such thing as future security – it’s an illusion.

-Fear is the number one negative influence that must be managed.

-Have fun and laugh a lot no matter what is going on.

-Stress isn’t what’s happening but how you react to what’s happening.

-Never stop dreaming.

-Age is just a number. We are all going to get old but we don’t have to grow old.

-Control what you can and let go of what you can’t control.

-What you believe defines you.

-Your thoughts become circumstances.

-The past is dead – let it go.  Stay in the present – it’s all you have.

-Manage your expectations – all disappointment is caused by unmanaged expectations.

-Trust God every minute of every day.

-Be filled with appreciation and gratitude every moment.

-Take full responsibility for your life.

-Do what you love with passion, enthusiasm and courage.

-You can’t push the river.  Relax.

Yes I could give you a lot more but I’m sure you other things to do today.

In summary;

Keep in mind that just because you survive one winter that this doesn’t prevent another possible winter in the future.  Just because you behave appropriately during any season is no guarantee that you will gain the desired benefits of that season.  Just because you work hard and plan during spring and summer don’t assume that you will have a successful harvest in the fall.  Life happens and it is our responsibility to learn to flow, strengthen our faith and continue to grow, learning from the circumstances life places on our plates. So, whatever season you are in as you read this why not just make the best of it regardless of what you are experiencing.  Have fun today.

“Wait for the wisest of all counselors, time.”

Pericles

Make it a great day, Tim