Words of Wisdom

If I hear one more time, "I'll just have to wait and see how this potential sale goes", from someone who says they are a professional salesperson, regardless if it is manufactured housing or any other industry they are in, I think I will just have to scream out loud – YOU JUST DON'T GET IT.

Selling isn't about manipulation, but controlling the sales process. It isn't about wait and see – it's about creative sales approaches and strategies to continually move the process forward. It isn't about wasting valuable selling time on poor prospects, but having an effective prospecting system that allows you to spend time and resources on people who are good prospects now or will be in the future. It's not about trying to turn poor prospects into customers with pricing strategies, giving away the store or losing your integrity because of your desperation or ego.

I believe in keeping things simple, it makes it easier for me. There are generally two types of selling – active and passive. What's the difference?

Active selling is where you are in control of the process. Let me repeat I am not talking about manipulation. Who do you want to be in control of a challenging health issue you face – a Doctor you trust or yourself as the patient? If you haven't been to medical school I would suggest you turn the process over to the Doctor. If you don't trust the Doctor get a second opinion. The same is true of selling. The salesperson knows more about the product or service (or should) than the prospect. All the salesperson needs to do is determine how important the prospect's problems, needs or wants are to them and why. If you have both – product knowledge and prospect information – you should stay in charge of the process – active selling.

Passive selling is when the prospect says; I need to talk to so and so, I need to think it over, I need to check with another supplier – etc. and you give up, stop selling and yes, just wait and see.

I find it interesting as I evaluate many of the clients I have worked with over the years and their sales teams and sales processes – regardless of the product or service, value proposition, industry, reputation or market exposure, how many so-called professional salespeople – just wait and see – hoping that the sale will close.

Without an effective sales process which includes; prospecting identification and qualification strategies, presentation approaches, closing and overcoming resistance techniques and an effective follow-up process, you will likely end up playing the wait and see game.

Active selling requires an effective and engaging probing approach that doesn't intimidate the prospect, but does create some discomfort, uneasiness or a sense of urgency or uncertainty that will come with their inaction or poor choices. It requires a customer-focused message and the ability to disarm sales resistance early rather than respond to it later. Obviously it requires a closing approach or strategy that may not come from the sales books or sales gurus available today, but from a mix of your experience, skills and knowledge of the prospect's concerns, fears or buying history. And finally without a clear and repeatable follow-up process most of the previous steps will be wasted over the long term.

So, why don't most salespeople today have a system that they can rely on to avoid the wait and see game? Is it stupidity? Fear of rejection or coming across as pushy or manipulative? Arrogance? Naïveté? Or just laziness? Or possibly a unique combination of them all?

Make it a tremendous year, In His service, Tim

Ever sent a mixed message to someone? Received one? Ever made an assumption? Ever had a misunderstanding? If you answered no to any of these you are living in denial. Everyone from time to time or frequently is guilty of sending confusing and often contradictory messages causing any number of communication breakdowns that can lead to stress, frustration, anxiety, doubt, guilt and even anger.

Let's define each of these briefly before I dig into the details.

Assumption – something that is believed to be true without proof. A theory, guess, conjecture or hypothesis or supposition.

Mixed message – a confusing difference between the way somebody behaves and what somebody says.

Misunderstanding - a failure to understand or interpret something correctly caused by misinterpretation, misreading or delusion.

Mixed message(s). Let's start with mixed messages as in most cases these are the cause of most assumptions and misunderstanding. You would be amazed at how frequently we all send mixed messages to others that are caused by the contradiction between our stated intent and our real intent. What's the difference? Stated intent is what you tell yourself or others that you are going to do, try and do or do your best to accomplish. For example – I will call you tomorrow. Let's do lunch next week. The check is in the mail. I'll get back to you with a decision next week. I plan to start exercising every day. Etc.

Real intent is what actually takes place or the results you achieve. For example you actually start exercising or set up a specific lunch date.

When there is an inconsistency between the outcomes of a person's stated intent and their real intent – their real intent was not to act or accomplish etc.

When you tell another person anything regarding what you will do you have to have integrity between what you say you are going to do and what you actually do. When this is lacking you will certainly set up a situation where assumptions will be made and misunderstanding will occur.

Mixed message is nothing more than a contradiction between what you mean and what you say or do. So why do people intentionally or unintentionally send these confusing messages? Lot's of reasons – manipulation, to avoid truth, they lack the courage to be honest, an unwillingness to be authentic or vulnerable, feelings of insecurity, the desire to avoid conflict or confrontation, uncertainty as to how another person will respond or react, fear of reprisal, criticism or retribution or hidden agendas that they want to keep hidden. I could go on, but I'm sure you see that there are many contributors to these often innocent mixed messages. I say often, but there are also times when these messages can cause a great deal of pain, guilt, blame, anger, jealousy, suffering, stress and even betrayal. None of which will contribute to positive or productive relationships with family, customers, fellow employees or even friends.

Assumption(s). Assumptions are those mental outcomes a person comes to when they lack adequate or accurate information. An assumption can be anything from a simple – someone will be on time to more dramatic – he or she doesn't love me anymore or I am doing a great job in my position since I don't get any negative feedback from my boss. Or even worse that a customer is happy just because they don't bother to complain.

Why do we make assumptions? For starters we don't like uncertainty. We would rather create a story in our own mind, no matter how false, about what is happening or might happen than have this emptiness inside of our mind. Often these inner stories have nothing to do with what is really going on but with time we begin to convince ourselves that even though it's just that – a story we have created or made up – that it's true. Another reason is that we lack the ability or courage to just ask others for their reality. Keep in mind that each of us has our own specific reality based on a number of factors. No two people share exactly the same reality even if they have been married for fifty years. Still another reason is our unwillingness to manage the fear that fills everyone's mind and takes its toll in a variety of ways. These fears are our way of trying to make sense of what we don't know. We allow them to rule our inner thoughts and therefore our actions regardless of whether they are true or not. They are just stories we tell ourselves to try and have some degree of control of our uncertainty.

What are the consequences of making assumptions? Too numerous to discuss but let me share just a few of the common ones. Increased conflict with others, lowered self-esteem, disappointment in an outcome, the inability to let go of the stories we have create and their impact on other situations. And finally – increased stress due to the frustration of a perceived lack of control. Not worth the price folks.

Misunderstanding(s). A misunderstanding is nothing more than our projection of what we want to hear, believe is true or in some way, agrees with our personal beliefs, opinions, values or mindsets. All misunderstanding is caused by our inner perceptual filter that causes us to avoid what we don't accept, believe or agree with. We want to hear X and the other person tells us their X and we interpret it as Y. Misunderstanding is one of the most common communication issues in all relationships. She said, he heard, he responded, she reacted etc. He believes so he says, she wants to hear something else so doesn't hear what he says but what she thinks he said or wanted to believe he said.

For example. The employee says he will get the project done by Friday. The boss wants it done by today. So he interprets Friday to mean the other person as saying as soon as I can or today. When today ends and the project isn't complete – well you get the picture.

Assumptions, mixed messages and misunderstanding can all be avoided if we will just take the time to listen objectively and openly, stay in the present moment and not the past or future and be willing to ask enough of the right questions that help us ensure we are on the same page.

Make it a tremendous year,
In His service,
Tim ##

Weekly TimBit

Over the years I have observed many people and their reactions and responses to many of life's curves, roadblocks and successes. I include myself in these observations with the goal of trying to determine who I am, who I have been and who I am becoming. Sometimes it's a wonderful story that unfolds with each new day and other times it's a sad and frustrating picture. What makes the difference in our lives and how we evaluate those defining moments and their impact on us?

A better question could be why or why do we not do the inner work that is necessary for a happy, productive and worthwhile life?

No one escapes adversity in life in their relationships, health, career or finances. Life is a journey from where we have come from to where we are going and that journey is riddled with disappointment, frustration and discouragement as well as success, achievement and wonderful memories.

So again I ask you, which of the aspects of life as they unfold for you each new day – how will they define your life outlook, attitudes, behavior and outcomes?

Each of us makes numerous decisions each day that have a direct and indirect impact on how the journey for each of us unfolds. When these decisions are made with a mindset ruled by fear and uncertainty, stress and discouragement and unrealized expectations and disappointment – we will surely create a future with more of the same. When we can find the opportunity that always lies hidden within all of life's negative circumstances, we will have the ability to create a better future where we learn to let our lives be filled with peace, joy and happiness.

The key is in knowing how we chose what will define us. This definition is always grounded in one simple philosophy and that is – when our time is up here and it's time to move on to another life plane – what will have been our proudest moments and our best decisions, our regrets of words spoken or left unsaid or our actions taken or avoided for some reason. This requires the ability to leave here with few regrets knowing that we did our best every day to create a life worth living regardless of the chaos, life trauma or dramas that filled our moments, days or even years.

It takes courage to learn to live a fulfilling life in the face of trials and adversity. It takes resolve to live through life's uncertainty believing in a better tomorrow and it takes faith and hope to know that what we are going through is just – a segment of the longer life journey and that in the end, how it all turned out was more a matter of our attitudes, philosophy and beliefs than what was actually happening each day.

What will define you as the years pass and your life comes to its conclusion?

So ask yourself a simple question – regardless of your current circumstances – will you let what you are going through now define you or can you see the bigger picture of your life?

I have developed 6 new custom in-house employee development programs – effective 2012. If you have an interest in conducting one of these for your employees – I am offering special discounts for these programs for new and repeat clients. If you have an interest – contact me and we can discuss the details and my availability. Here are the new topics;

Overcoming Life's Challenges and Difficult Times.

This program focuses on the causes and cures when fear, uncertainty, doubt and insecurity fill the mindsets of individuals that prevent creativity, effectiveness and motivation.

Developing a Custom Sales System that increases sales success.

This program addresses the need for an effective, proven and custom sales system and how to create, develop and implement it to ensure that your lost sales ratio remains low. It also improves margins and market share.

Personal Organization – the vital skill for sustained sales success.

This program focuses on the skills, traits, behaviors and attitudes necessary for peak performance throughpersonal organization and personal power. It covers A-Z everything you need to do to achieve total effectiveness and increased sustained sales results.

Don't Tell me – Show me – creating employee accountability.

This program is about creating integrity and congruence between people's words and actions. The single biggest challenge in ever organization is avoiding mis-communication, assumptions and mis-understanding that contribute to redundancy, poor morale and a lack of individual accountability.

Strategic Thinking – Blending market reality with corporate goals.

This program teaches employees how to take an effective strategic approach to their roles, responsibilities, decisions and problem solving. It guides them as they continue to improve their personal effectiveness.

Beating the Competition without using price as your strategy.

This program focuses on strategies, approaches and techniques to keep current business out of the hands of competitors and how to take business away from them in an ethical and professional way..

In a rapidly changing world it is essential that all employees regardless of their roles, responsibilities, position, challenges, skills or experience utilize the latest techniques for; improving sales results, maintaining management effectiveness, improving customer satisfaction, increasing new customer acquisition, improving customer loyalty and maintaining positive, motivated and creative employee attitudes and behaviors.

These programs blend the latest ideas, approaches and techniques that ensure that all participants understand, embrace and integrate the best approaches into their daily functions. Our custom programs are tailored to the client's culture, business model, objectives, opportunities, challenges and vision and mission.

Make it a tremendous year, In His service, Tim

 

Have you ever considered what great things you could accomplish in your life or who you could become beyond what you are today – if you had more time, resources, talent, creativity or opportunity?

Let me explain – everything that exists today existed in someone's imagination before it became reality. Let me repeat – nothing would exist today if it didn't first fill a person's imagination.

So what does this concept of imagination mean to you and for the quality of your life and future success and happiness? And what exactly is – imagination?

You can't see it, touch it or prove its existence. Everyone has it but some people use more of it in a positive way while others let it die within them. It is responsible for all of your creativity, success and peace and happiness or it keeps you stuck in what can't be, will never be or you don't deserve. It is the most powerful tool humans have to change their reality from what it is to what it could be.

Here's a test – I do these every now and then just to see if anyone is actually reading these messages.  When you order any item on my website for more than $10.00 before Friday and I will include a free CD "of your choice" with your order. Just tell me which one you want in the comments section and it's on me. All of my CD's are listed on my site.  Okay, back to topic . . . 

It is limitless and has no rules, boundaries or restrictions. It can create whatever you want in your mind. I did not say it can turn poverty into wealth, discouragement into optimism or failure into success – in and of itself but it can accomplish your dreams, desires and wishes if you will nurture it, listen to it and then believe that you are capable of accomplishing what messages it sends you.

I never believed that Soft Sell, my first book would ever become the world's best selling sales book in 23 languages and with sales over one million copies on the day I started writing it. But as the words began to flow early in 1980 – long hand – I didn't have a computer or even a typewriter – (if you remember what those are) but before I finished the first chapter, I did let my imagination, with its prodding and hard mental work on my part finally take over and let it create the book in its entirety.

I say this, because at the time, I didn't have a clue about the tremendous future potential of this book as I had never written anything for public use and I was not all that talented when it came to writing skills, grammar even spelling in general, but I do know that I didn't write the book – I wasn't that smart, talented or experienced. The book wrote itself or should I say – my imagination took over – all I did was put the words on the page.

Imagination when allowed to grow, flourish and be all that it is capable of, can literally work miracles in your life. The problem is that most people don't trust it, believe they are able to fulfill its promises or willing to do the work necessary for its manifistation.

Let me repeat – your imagination is limitless. The other problem is that most people fail to realize a simple truth – that what can be lies in potential in your mind but if you are letting current circumstances and perceived self-limitations deny you the belief that anything is possible then it will work against you and not for you.

Is it fear? A lack of self-belief? Or the rules, rituals and mental conditioning that people have received over the years since their birth that keep people stuck? Yes.

Is it the need to conform, fit in, play by the rules and not be considered a bit – out there – that keeps people stuck? Yes. I'm not saying that rule breakers always win and I'm certainly not suggesting that breaking the rules when other's are hurt in some way is right. What I am saying is that when we allow our conditioning to determine the quality of our life we will almost always live with frustration, disappointment and mediocrity.

Think about it – what you have accomplished in life whether; a new recipe, a beautiful garden or the success of a new business enterprise – these were the results of your imagination at work. So you know you have it, have used it at times during your life and it has contributed to your success and or happiness. So the real question is – why not stretch it, expand it, grow it, nurture it and yes believe in it and guess what – you might be surprised at what you could accomplish that at one time in your life you would have felt was utterly impossible and beyond your capabilities.

To receive your FREE CD – click on the following link:

http://www.timconnor.com/book_sales/index.php?_a=viewCat&catId=6

Let your imagination run free amd make it a great week and a tremendous year,

In His service, Tim

Weekly TimBit -  Security is an illusion.

Do you really think that people who have lost their home and all of their possessions in less than five minutes due to a tornado, hurricane or even a flood believed that this would happen to them? Do you think people who have saved for years and then lost all of their hard earned money due to an economic disaster ever thought that they would find themselves in this financial chaos?   Do you believe that someone who has worked in a career for years and then suddenly finds themselves in their later years looking for a job? Do you really think that someone who was in a long relationship that they believed was stable and loving would find themselves suddenly single and alone?

The answer to all of these is no they would never have thought they would have found themselves facing the circumstances they were.

Security – is an illusion.

You can save, work, love and live life correctly and expect that all will work out for you in the end but I am here to tell you if you believe that life is secure in any way you are living in "La La land".

Why do people strive so hard for future security when in reality no one can ever know what tragedy or adversity might suddenly come into their life that will disrupt or even destroy life as they once knew it? Is it ignorance – naïveté, ego dominance, arrogance, immaturity or even stupidity? The answer is yes – it is one or more of these that cause people to feel like their life is always in their control or their dominate motive is to strive for these.

I don't like tragedy or adversity whether; financial, health, physical or in relationships any more than the next person but life has taught me a simple lesson – live each day to the best of your ability – plan, set goals, hope, desire, work towards a better life, love and learn but in the end no one can predict or know the future. Oh sure, we can all say we are living each day as it comes but if you fret, worry or get stressed out about what may happen tomorrow you are misleading yourself.

Everyone wants life to be fair, prosperous, loving and safe but in the end consider; over 100,000 people lost their home last year due to a tragedy they didn't expect. Over 2000 people die each day due to cardiac issues. Over 50,000 people die in their sleep each night. Millions of people file bankruptcy each year, many due to circumstances beyond their control.

I could go on and on with statistics like these, but I am sure you get where I am going with this – I'll guarantee none of these people thought that what happened to them ever would.

No one can control all or even many of life's situations or its uncertainty. I have asked many people over the years – would you like to know what the future holds for you and almost all of them have responded – yes. Sorry folks this mindset is nor will ever be possible. Yes we can have some control over the future – we can save, eat right, work hard, have faith and hope, exercise and not have any negative emotional or physical behaviors, but in the end these alone will not ever guarantee that things will turn out the way you hope or want. And why?

We can't control other's behavior. We can't control the weather. We can't control our heritage. We can't control the economy. We can't control nature. We can't control all that has come before us – how our relatives behaved and what they experienced that influences our physical being and its natural evolution. We can't control the relentless pull of the future. And we can't control many of the changes that come into our life or their timing.

So what can we control to ensure a better future, a happier way of life and to some degree or security? All we can control is how we choose to interpret the circumstances that come into our life and then how we choose to respond to them.

How are you doing? Fighting for future security and losing the value and joy of each day as you have it or living today and doing your best, but in the end accepting that tomorrow with all of its circumstances is an unknown entity?  

Let me repeat – security is an illusion

Since I was old enough to understand the simple concept of OPE (other people's experience) I have read every book I could get my hands on to try and find and remain on the road to a happy, peaceful and successful life. To date I have read over 3000 books – not bragging here, I just want to say that of all of these books, 20 stand out as some of my all-time favorites that had and still have a significant impact on some area of my life. Yes, there are many more great books than the 20 I have listed below, but I will make you a promise – if you will read just one of them (if you haven't already) I will guarantee your life will never be the same – in a positive way. So here are the 20 in no particular order of importance or value.

 

A few of these are out of print, but are still available on Amazon in the  used book section.

 

What Happy people Know, Dan Baker

This book gives you all of the vital tools to find true happiness.

 

The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, Dan Millman

This book shares a simple concept that few people consider when searching for inner peace.

 

Think and Grow Rich, Napoleon Hill

One of the all time best selling books that shares 13 principles for enduring success.

 

The Power of Patience, P. J Ryan

A powerful look at one of the vital attitudes for success, health and happiness.

 

In The Flow of Life, Eric Butterworth

One of the most engaging and real books about spiritual truth.

 

Brain Rules, John Medina

Want to know why you can't change something in your life?

 

Unconditional Love, John Powell

Why love is the number one thing in people's lives that seldom is realized.

 

The Voice of Knowledge, Miguel Ruiz

This book will change the way you think and what you think about.

 

The Choice, Og Mandino

Og is one of the all-time most revered authors and this is one of my favorites.

 

Wake-Up Calls, Eric Allenbaugh

We all need a 2×4 every now and then. This book will wake you up to what really matters in life.

 

As A Man Thinketh, James Allen

Read this powerful book and your life will never be the same.

 

Nasty People, Jay Carter

A quick read, only 75 pages but it will have a dramatic impact on how you treat others.

 

This book has the answers to all of life's challenges, goals and purpose.

 

The Reason Why, Robert Laidlaw

Written over 100 years ago and still as relevant today as it was then.

 

Man's Search For Meaning, Victor Frankl

An engaging, powerful and vital read for anyone who needs a wake-up Call

 

The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran

This book gives you the opportunity to look at life in an entirely new way.

 

The Richest Man in Babylon, George Clason

If you had read this before you hit the age of twenty by age 40 you would be a millionaire.

 

Set Your Heart on Fire, Harold Cushnir

Life is short, live it to the fullest while you can.

 

Waking Up In Time, Peter Russell

This book will rock your world, I guarantee it.

 

Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Richard Bach

This is the all-time best selling self-help book, written over 50 years ago.

 

I urge you to read any of the above if you are searching for inner peace, happiness or success.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 "Every day give yourself a good mental shampoo." Jordan

 

 

One of the challenging  issues facing many people today is the ability to maintain a sense of balance in their lives. It's impossible to have total balance in your life. There are just too many demands, issues, problems, needs, goals and people to deal with. It is possible however to have enough balance to reduce the stress in your life while enjoying many of the gifts life has to offer you.

 

There are several areas where we need to balance our lives. They are: family, work, financial, friends, social, spiritual, self-development, physical, personal interests, business or career interests and fun.

At any given time you can be way out of balance. For example if you have just started a new business or career. You have just had your first child or you are in a new relationship.

 

During these times you will most likely devote more time and energy to these activities while ignoring some of the other life areas. The problem is if we stay out of balance in one area for a long period of time. For example, working 7 days a week for 25 years at the expense of your health, friends and family.

 

  

1. A lack of clear long-term goals.

2. The inability to say no.

3. Trying to please everyone.

4. A lack of concentration and focus.

5. Emotional immaturity.

6. Insecurity.

7. Unrealistic goals.

8. A lack of self-respect.

9. A lack of planning.

10. A lack of respect for others.

11. Poor organization skills.

12. Over ambition.

13. Poor time management.

 

What are some steps we can take if we are out of balance?

 

1. Spend time deciding what is really important in your life, both short and long term.

2. Share your goals, dreams, needs and frustrations about being out of balance with the people in

    your life that matter.

3. Learn to set better priorities.

4. Say no more often.

5. Determine where you are out of balance and ask yourself, why.

6. Spend time better planning your days, weeks, months, and years.

7. Get up an hour earlier or go to bed an hour later. Use the time for reflection or planning.

8. Accept the fact that there are times in your life when you will be temporarily out of balance.

9. Simplify your life.

10. Simplify your life. (not a typo….intended repetition)

 

 

Where in life are you out of balance? 

 

 Weekly reading assignment -

 

The Happiness Makeover, Ryan

 

 

"Not truth but faith it is that keeps the world alive." St Vincent Millay

 

 

Faith – belief in, devotion to, or trust in somebody or something, especially without logical proof, evidence or verification.

 

I want to make it clear that I am not talking here about religious or spiritual faith. I'm not really sure where or when the word faith originated, but I'm fairly confident that it has been used by a number of religions over the centuries. I understand that it may be hard to take religion out of the word faith for a few minutes, but that's what I'm asking you to do. To see faith as a mindset or attitude rather than a doctrine or dogma.

 

Do you have faith in – Yourself? Your future? Your ability? Your circumstances? Your talent? Your decision making? Your judgment? Your goals? Your ability to handle challenges or difficult times?

 

Faith is similar to trust as I could very well ask you the same questions above and just substitute the word trust for faith. However trust has some similar and yet different connotations things like – conviction, belief, certainty, confidence, reliance or dependence. Is faith the same as belief? Is trust the same as confidence?

 

We could debate these nuances all day. The bottom line is do you believe that you have control over every aspect of your life or do you sometimes see yourself as a victim in some life areas?

 

I'm also not referring to a – whatever will be will be mentality. We all have choices and we all make decisions. We do both based on any number of circumstances, conditions, mindsets, beliefs and expectations.

 

We can't control everything that comes into our life, but we certainly have control over how we choose to re-act or respond to those events, people or circumstances that cross our path. It is unfortunate that many people fail to realize, believe or act accordingly to this simple yet profound premise. Your life is in your hands. Having faith in life is having faith in yourself. Having faith in your future, that it will be better, is having faith in yourself. Having faith that you can overcome life's challenges and difficult times is having faith in yourself.

 

Lacking faith is to put your life, future and its outcomes and circumstances in the hands of fate or others.

 

I believe that everything that happens in life happens for a reason. We may not be ready to accept or even understand those reasons, but the stuff that comes to us, comes to teach us, help us grow and yes often to test our resolve, patience, commitment and beliefs. Self-reliance is a wonderful trait, but there are times when we need the counsel and listening ear of those we trust whether they are friends, relatives or even total strangers who have crossed our path.

 

 

On a 1-10 scale (1 poor, low or non-existent – 10 perfect, excellent or high) how would you rank your faith in yourself, your ability, your future etc?

 

 

Making Moments Matter, Dennis

 

In His Service,

 

Tim Connor, CSP